#DateTipTuesdays
Dating Advice for Beyond the Fridge
Never audition for your date.
Dating is not about auditioning for your date. It’s about getting to know them better to see if you’d like to go out with them again. And the best way to do so is by listening. (Which we’ll focus on next week)
If you ‘audition’ for your date, then you make it about about seeking your date’s approval, like they’re better than you and your love life is up to them. And that’s bogus.
Remember, no one is better than you. They might not want you. But that doesn’t mean they’re better than you. (It also doesn’t mean it’s their loss cause A, you probably weren’t a fit and B, I’m not your fairy godmother pissing pixie dust)
The other downside of the audition mindset is that you’re more nervous because lets face it: you have no idea of what they’re looking for. And that’s what causes nervousness…not knowing how to act.
That’s why the key to dating is to be yourself. As you have no idea what they’re looking for, if you’re just you, there’s less to be nervous about, as you have no control over whether they like you or not. And that’s a good thing.
It’s why I envy frogs. They don’t have to bring ‘game’ and they don’t have play the game. All they have to do is hang in their swamp and belch out ‘ribbit’.
If a fellow frog likes them, they do the hippity-hoppity. If they don’t, frog doesn’t rack his brain. He doesn’t ask if his homies if his rap sounds good or his looks kill. Like the Honey Badger, frog don’t give a shit. He just keeps on ribbiting in his own way til the right match comes along. And that leads to some carefree, happy frogs.
Now, I always believe in putting your best foot forward. But that’s for you. Not for your date. The better you look and feel, the better you come across by improving your confidence in the process.
When it comes to being on a date, spouting off your attributes like a resume is a bad move. The more you try to impress, the less impressive you’ll be. Trust me, when you have stuff going on, they’ll figure it out. If they can’t, and they’re not willing to put the effort in to getting to know you, they can piss off.
When we see dating as a fun opportunity to get to know someone better and less about validating ourselves (and giving all our power away in the process), the more we enjoy dating in general. Which leads to more dates. And ups the odds of finding our frog ☺.
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