I HEART CHAOS

Martyn Crute of UK Oil and Gas had to appear in court yesterday to answer charges of illegal trading for 15 months without being properly registered. I don’t know wtf that means, but what I do know is that he tried to evade the press outside the courtroom by dressing as a woman, as seen above.

Decked in female clothing - including a stripy top, black knee length skirt and high heels - Martyn Crute left Lincoln Crown Court hoping to give the cameramen the slip. But his surprising disguise was noticed within seconds by the waiting photographers primed to snap him as he exited. And as they gave chase, he flicked his hair across his face in a bid to hide his manly stubble and chiselled jawline.

The astonishing bid to make sure his identity remained a secret came as Crute, a director of UK Oil and Gas Ltd, appeared in court charged with trading for 15 months without being registered to gas safety body Corgi. His business was said to have put lives at risk due to the poor standard of work it carried out during the period.

I’m no drag queen, but here’s some tips for you, Mr. Crute. I can tell in a second that that’s some really bad drag, even from the photo on the right where you can’t see the face. You’re obviously not accustomed to walking in heels. Also, your shoulders are obviously wider than your hips and you’re walking from your shoulders. Woman walk with a lower center of gravity due to their wider hips and smaller shoulders.

So next time you want to try this: 

-Shave
-Practice walking in heels
-Practice walking from your hips and waist, not your shoulders
-Be FABULOUS 

Via