I HEART CHAOS

A bathtub full of pie? You’re seriously flirting with danger.

People always like to ask centenarians what their “secret” to long life is, when the real answer usually is just genetics. But In 1911, 100 year old Tilden Pierce’s word of warning was that the younger generation was eating too much pie and bathing too much to live very long.

One hundred years ago, in 1911, Tilden Pierce turned 100 years old and talked to the New York Times about why he didn’t think the younger generation would be able to achieve his longevity: too much pie and too many baths.

“Yep,” he told the Times from his Plymouth, Mass., old folks’ home. “What’s shortening the days of the present generation is because they eat too much pie and cake.”

Excessive bathing–twice a week or more–also lobbed years off younger folks’ lifespans, he warned: “It’s a dangerous practice and bound to sap a fellow’s strength. And if a man allows himself to become so unclean that he has to have a bath twice a week–well he’d better look out or he’ll soon be dead.”

Of course, those who make it to 100 or older often have just as many bad habits as anyone else, they just got lucky. Hell, Jack LaLanne was the healthiest motherfucker on the planet and at 95 could have kicked your pansy ass into a pulp, but then one year later, he died at 96. And then you’ve got some old woman, age 110, who’s been chain smoking and drinking heavily since she was barely out of diapers. 

But maybe the pie and baths things might work. I’ll have to try that. No baths, less pie.

Via