I HEART CHAOS

Thanks to the volcanic ash that destroyed the city of Pompeii nearly overnight, modern archaeologists have been given a very preserved look at the lives of the people of ancient Rome, and that includes some of the lewd graffiti that in other places has long since been washed away.

Indeed, in an effort to more deeply understand Pompeii, researchers have delved not only into the city’s architecture and frescoes, but also all the graffiti to be found throughout its ancient walls. But before you go assuming the ancient Pompeiians vandalized with only the most brilliant bons mots—“Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” everywhere, perhaps—I suggest reading exactly what the excavators have dug up. Here, a list of some of my favorites:

Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates.

I screwed the barmaid.

Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here.

I screwed a lot of girls here.

Sollemnes, you screw well!

You can read more Pompeiian graffiti here

Via