The Future Is That Mountain

in my little unairconditioned bedroom i had a little 18 inch color tv that i bought with my own money at like Sears and it sat at the foot of my bed and it was basically the best thing in my world, along with my stereo (which i used to listen to the RADIO), and on that tv the entire world came into mine. there is something so summer and early fall about 90210 for me. I can remember watching re-runs early summer mornings for like 4 hour stretches before the house was too hot and i had to go somewhere, and this was maybe rust cohle voice: back in ‘95, the year i started high school, the year i went from the undercut to a shaving my head the day before school started. i remember laying in front of the tv during those early seasons of the show, like, right in front of the tv and my parents behind me and being embarrassed at a kissing scene, embarrassed at how Brenda acted. there’s something amazing in the theme song, too. something that literally makes my soul smile. i can’t really speak to seasons like, 8-10 or whatever, but those first 4 or 5 were special. it was a special show. i know we go on about LOST or Breaking Bad, The Wire, etc, but Beverly Hills 90210 was special. it was first. of course there were other important 90’s touchstones; empire records was huge for me, a wonderful movie called Airborne, the first x-games in providence, discovering music, but 90210 connected me to new part of life in the 90’s that i didn’t know i needed to know about, being fairly woefully underprepared for the realities of life by my parents. and i’m not saying that i learned about life FROM the Walshes, but i learned a lot about life through the Walshes.  the thanksgiving homeless man episode. the camping episode where brandon almost dies. when dylan’s dad’s boat blows up. how fucked up it is to have a bathroom with two entrances. it was all right there. one thing i just can’t shake is the feeling of sitting on my bed, leaning against the wall covered in surfing posters–i remember the precise temperature and feeling of my room as I  watched those re-runs, wondering how i too could become mad, bad, and dangerous to know.