18
Oct
I think, I spent a lot of time, doing a lot, and being involved with a lot of people, and I never really spent time with myself, or figured out who I was, or what I wanted.
I saw a girl twice this week, and just wasn’t feeling connected with her. I’m meeting another girl (both from online) on monday.
So, It’ll throw all this gender shit into the mix.
but Also, and maybe a little reminder, i’ve riffed on it before;
I think, above all else, you have to have compatible personalities.
And there are just some people who aren’t at all like me, and it’s unfortunate that, well, i suppose it’s funny to notice the irony, after being on the other side of a relationship, and not really understanding that concept.
it’s funny in a “oh so that’s how the other person felt” kinda moment of realization. not like I’m laughing at it because that’s sorta duckling sad and all, but, funny as in a lamented laughter sorta way.
anyways, I think I’m starting to tap into who I am and what I really want in life. I think holding a job and just, you know, living, not really working on like huge projects (like in scouts) will be able to keep me, busy.
that, and one day building instruments from my bare hands. that’ll be a fun one.
like, I have always wanted to build a piano out of my own bare hands.
to make all those cuts, to make all of these things happen, it’d be fun.
of course I’m going to start on a guitar first to make sure It can actually be done, but either way I’m going to like those kinds of projects, the ones I can make with my own money, on my own time, those kinda things.
I think that’s why I stick with things here and there, to get to doing the things I actually want to do.
shh, don’t tell anyone my motives.
but, it’s just something in a sort of a hobby, a fun thing to do to pass the time.