Life kinda sucks, but what can I say? I’ve been avoiding writing for a while. I’m not really sure why.
Yesterday was the start of marching band. I pretty much had a panic attack. On my way there I was on the verge of tears, and I was crying and shaking. I honestly don’t like band as much as everyone said I would, but I have no choice but to stick with it for the next 4 years.
Today was the presale for the 5SOS concert next year. My mom got tickets, lawn GA to be exact. I feel so selfish right now, yet at the same time I feel so neglected. My parents know how much 5sos means to be, and they know I really wanted to get good seats. I was willing to pay for my ticket and everything since I have money saved up for this.
Those 4 boys mean the absolute world to me, and I hate that my family doesn’t understand that. More than anything I just want to be there, somewhat near the stage (surely not on the lawn), seeing my biggest inspirations do what they do. But instead I’ll be on the lawn, really far away. Plus, my family will be there with me, and that’s probably the biggest restriction I could ever think of.
This sucks. I know I should be thankful, but I’m not. Is that wrong? I don’t want to spend the time from now until the concert sulking, but I honestly cannot help it. I’m just so disappointed. I can’t show any of my feelings to this around my parents because that’ll make them have second thoughts about it. I know they’ll just get mad at me, and I know they’ll say things that will put me down.
This may seem stupid, being so disappointed about not getting good tickets. But when people make such an impact on your life, and they don’t even know you, you just want to do as much as you can to get as close to them as possible. I just want to seem them on stage. I want to be able to make out their body parts and different movements. I want to take pictures so I can remember it forever. This sounds so stupid.
I hate myself. This blog post was a big mess for sure. I’m not sure what’s going to happen after this, but one things I know for sure is the fact that I won’t be paying for my ticket with my own money. I hate myself.