Songs What I Wrote When I Was A Kid (Part 3 of a Series)
In this third edition of my series of song lyrics I recently discovered from my younger days, we start exploring the delightful world of rap music. My friend Tim introduced me to rap sometime around 1983 or so, with the fantabulous old-schoolness that is “Jam On It” by Newcleus. We were all over wikis before there was a pedia. We memorized that song, along with “Rapper’s Delight” by The Sugarhill Gang. (Aside: here’s an amazing modern version of the song worth checking out.) We quickly discovered Run DMC and went nuts.
So as just about every rap fan ever did, we wrote our own raps. We became D.J. T.J. (Tim) and T.S. Def (me), together know as T Squared. (We were brilliant!) We wrote a few pages of songs over the next few years (as you’ll see later) but only actually recorded one of them. Our big hit! (Which has probably been heard by like five people…)
The name of our song was “Frat Rap,” and was about “fratty baggers” which was an early 1980s slang term for rich and privileged University of North Carolina fraternity members who popped their collars and talked all posh. They would drink their beer out of brown paper bags, NOT to hide that they were drinking, but rather to hide how cheap their beer was. We recorded the song on my Fostex cassette 4-track, and chose “Louie Louie” for our backing song.
Take a read for the lyrics, and see if you can figure out why the two middle class crackers from Chapel Hill didn’t become huge rap stars. (And yes, I realize I misspelled “bitchin’”)
“Frat Rap”
by T-Squared (D.J. T.J. & T.S. Def)
written around 1984
.
I’m a really tutti-frutti snooty ratty fratty bagger
.
Hello dudes, I’m a fratty bagger
I dig classic rock, including Mick Jagger
The Delta House will make you scream and shout
If you don’t make a noise, we’ll be so bummed out
I’ve got a microwave instead of a kitchen
I look real sweet, ‘cause my clothes are bitchen’
I wear a pair of shorts down to my knees
And stroll around campus in my muscle tees
My roomie has a bar, and I’ve got a PC
We don’t talk to dormies, my frat brothers and me
Cute little butt…shiny white teeth
I don’t have a brain, I’m just a side of beef
.
I do weightlifting to build my bod
I’ll major in Econ to get a job
To my interviews I’ll wear my jams
Hey IBM, I’m Bitchen, Man!
After I get in, we’ll have a celebration
Go to California for Spring Vacation
Trade dorms and books for sandy turf
Get a tan, drink beer, and then we’ll surf
Back to Carolina to grad-u-ate
Steak and potatoes will be on my plate
Clean up my act when the parents come to stay
Instead of drinking beer, we’ll be drinking Perrier!
.
'Bye frat dudes, really glad I knew ya
I’ll see you later, 'cause I’m off to Bermuda!
Another classic. Why we weren’t famous, I dunno.
Apr 19th, 2014
