Humility & Confidence
For those that don’t know, I do music for a living. And by that I mean my primary income comes from making music. But by that I also mean, perhaps more importantly, that if I didn’t write, listen, perform, abide in music, I don’t think I would really be alive. I’d have a job that paid the bills, but it wouldn’t be for a living, it would merely be for surviving. So in that sense, I might end up selling insurance for a survival, but I’ll always do music for a living. I’ve gotten off topic in record time here today, and so I’ll save thoughts on that for a future post.
I’m supposed to be writing about humility and confidence. Doing music for a living is a funny thing, because in order to be successful, you have to be noticed. And once you’re noticed, you have to be liked. And once you’re liked, you have to maintain your likability so that you can get noticed some more. The funny part is that trying to be noticed and liked almost always gets you unnoticed and disliked. It reeks of insecurity, and being around an insecure musician is like being stuck on a crowded bus next to the “natural” guy who doesn’t believe* in deodorant.
Real humility and real confidence, on the other hand, are two of the most noticeable and likable traits. And they have a common source: security. Secure people have a strong sense of identity, and being around them is like being conveniently stuck on a crowded bus next to the girl who doesn’t believe in…not being hot (I tried).
You know who gets it? Jake Goss. He’s one of the best musicians/people I know. He’s a great drummer primarily because he has natural ability and has practiced diligently for years. He’s put in the hours. But there’s a lot of guys in Nashville who have put in the hours, and they haven’t seen success like Jake has. They have the chops, but they don’t get the gigs. Why?
I’m supposed to be writing about humility and confidence. Doing music for a living is a funny thing, because in order to be successful, you have to be noticed. And once you’re noticed, you have to be liked. And once you’re liked, you have to maintain your likability so that you can get noticed some more. The funny part is that trying to be noticed and liked almost always gets you unnoticed and disliked. It reeks of insecurity, and being around an insecure musician is like being stuck on a crowded bus next to the “natural” guy who doesn’t believe* in deodorant.
Real humility and real confidence, on the other hand, are two of the most noticeable and likable traits. And they have a common source: security. Secure people have a strong sense of identity, and being around them is like being conveniently stuck on a crowded bus next to the girl who doesn’t believe in…not being hot (I tried).
You know who gets it? Jake Goss. He’s one of the best musicians/people I know. He’s a great drummer primarily because he has natural ability and has practiced diligently for years. He’s put in the hours. But there’s a lot of guys in Nashville who have put in the hours, and they haven’t seen success like Jake has. They have the chops, but they don’t get the gigs. Why?
I’ve never heard Jake honor himself. Ever. But he doesn’t miss many opportunities to honor others. That’s humility.
I’ve almost never heard him dishonor himself, either. And it’s even more rare to hear him dishonor some other musician. That’s confidence.
This is both a condition and a position of his heart. What a lot of musicians˚ don’t seem to understand is that your heart’s condition is revealed on stage. The audience may not identify it with their minds, but they perceive it in their spirits, and respond with their wallets. Playing with less flaws^ won’t fool them. In fact, I think the better player you become, the more your heart is revealed, because good music is essentially a sounded overflow of the heart.
Jake is one of my favorite performers. He’s so good at the drums that I get goosebumps just from listening to him warm-up. Yes, he’s technically refined, but he is set apart because his heart’s overflow is humility and confidence. When I listen to him, I feel secure because he’s secure.
A side note: Insecurity isn’t synonymous with vulnerability. Vulnerability, especially in music, is potentially very attractive. But it can be offered by both the insecure and the secure, and it only becomes an endearing trait when it’s packaged with humility and confidenceˆ.
I want to be noticed, and I want to be liked. But focusing on who I need to be in order to get those things is like trying to fall asleep by thinking about how much you need to fall asleep. It’s logical, but it’ll never work.
Thanks Jake for showing me how it’s done.
The audio/visual aid for this post is the following clip, where at about 4 seconds in, Jake does a fill that literally makes me scream as I try to play bass for Steve Moakler. Enjoy:
In the groove of James Brown,
B
*Coincidentally, the natural guy also doesn’t believe in dating
˚ this guy (thumbs to chest)
^ For the secure musicians, flaws can even become a point of endearment. For example, Ryan Adams’ pitchy spots on his new record aren’t unprofessional, they’re organic, right?
ˆThat’s a theory. I’ll see if I agree with myself later.
