The Ant King
by reddit user wdalphin
“Buggy!”
“It’s just an ant.” I remarked calmly as I felt it crunch beneath my shoe.
“Buggy! Buggy!”
I picked my foot up and watched as the maimed and dying ant twitched and tried to run away. My son screamed at the sight of it and fled to his bedroom. I couldn’t understand why he was so afraid of insects. Especially ants. He was eight years old for Christ’s sake.
I regret reading that but Im glad its not even remotely possible. What he son in the story is described as killing is a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem_cricket
Also, what kind of dumbshit do you have to be to believe you can ‘pop’ an ant, and what kind of moron does the story writer take people for? Ant colonies are not that massive- especially ones that live in a house.
Also, there IS a species of ant that can pull shit like this off - or, well, many species, but the behavior described here is so batshit out of the realm of what https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorylus does that it cannot be them. Dorylus and similar ‘army ant’ species also do not move this quickly. Like, 60 feet an hour. An average human walks faster than that as a fucking octogenarian
The cat would have escaped. The mother would have escaped. The son would have escaped- also if a residential area was infested with any form of army ants that shit would get evacuated the moment people knew.
In short- story makes me a little sad, but its obviously completely fucking impossible if you even remotely know your shit when it comes to antsThat was creepy… Thankfully there is no species of ant that exhibits this behavior in the US, the closest I can think of would be the army ant
The way these ants in the story function is completely nonsensical too. If there was an obstruction they’d go for the path of least resistance- IE, not the door. Also, an entire cat could feed a hive for more than a week.
Also, eating through the child’s stomach and into its body is also illogical as all balls. They’d swarm all over him and eat him from the outside in.No, this really happened. I know for a fact. It was awful. They were such a nice family too. My daughter used to go to school with Brandon. What a terrible way to go.
Ants dont function like that.
Also, the protocol around ants would be entirely different if such a possibility exists. We would be quarantining a house the moment ants are found, burning ant mounds, shit like that. Especially if its this easy to kill the ‘king’.
And again, the mother in this story acts purposefully like an idiot on some levels and also does the exact proper defense in another. She should have left the house immediately. However, what she did is just as effective. The ants would not have tried to eat through the clothes in the door because they detect by movement. They would have gone the path of least resistance- the open fuckin’ hallway, and they would have survived.
There are so many other problems with this story. But thats what you get when you go to leddit instead of /x/Tell that to Brandon’s poor dad.
I bet you’re one of those fags who still call the guy who made the rake story thinking its real
I know the people in the story and can swear to the legitimacy of the events as portrayed. It is all entirely true and real. That’s why it’s on the internet. Justice for Brandon.
I despise this story yea and even though it is just a story it makes me angrier than it fucks with me because of all the holes in it
But thats what you get for going to reddit
You know what had more holes in it?
Brandon’s body. It was horrible. We’ve never seen anything like it.
