Below is a combination of entries into my sketchbook and just thoughts from the past two days about autism and how our society treats it and stuff. It’s mostly reactions and personal opinions to only about 2 days worth of researching around so don’t expect it to be perfect.

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Well, I’m sorry after nearly THREE SOLID YEARS of artwork schooling and assignments that it’s still hard for you to believe in the possibility of my successful future. I must just be that hopeless dad. There just must be no motivational energy radiating off my efforts or whatnot for your parent receptors to detect. Furthermore, because of your most easily dealt apprehension over how freaking hard it’s going to be for me, a wee little designer in the big bad world of my lovely, oh-so-competitive industry, that I simply will not be able to stand on my poor little two feet in without a freaking business degree from a “proper college”, (because I really want to spend my adult youth in more years of expensive textbooks and bullshit essays on the theories of supply and demand and scarcity, and cost reduction as if I don’t know enough of that stuff from just walking (on my own two feet) around in Seattle and seeing the homeless kids who somehow had the money to buy hair dye but not lunch or a pen for a job application, but somehow found a marker for a sign that says “pennies help too.” and are just trying making it work,) I’m going to freaking kill the living shit* out of the LGBT advocacy assignment for my print production class next term, because I know it’ll bug you, just a little, but even more so, PROVE THE POINT that I can can make money doing stuff that I love. Sure, I might take corporate clients if it puts fruit on the table, but for every corporate client I find work in that I don’t like that much, I will strive to work for clients that I love and support and believe in, because for me, graphic design is not all about money. It’s about doing what I do because I can, and people will be able to pay me for it because I will do it well! 

Anyway, closing in short angry Once-ler style,

“I intend to keep on designing, and designing, and turning more creative ideas into memes! And no one is going to stop me!!!”

*as in do a good job on, not like slice or murder literally.

Sometimes I don’t even know why some parts of tumblr even bother with social justice honestly. I like the people who have good intentions and work on things with an actual passion to bring about positive changes to the world as a whole, and actually get out in the real world and off tumblr to see how the things they write about play out in larger society and real people’s lives.

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Fucking spoon “doesn’t look clean” my ass. If you actually washed dishes from time to time you’d know that this ////particular///// spoon has years of stain buildup on it that don’t get removed after a bit of scrubbing. What the hell does pointing out that the damn spoon doesn’t look absolutely spotless even fucking do for you other that give you another infinitesimal reason to act like what I do around here is never good enough for you. Fuck the stains on this spoon. Fuck the stains on your fucking ego that leave stains on everyone you ever acted superior or presumptuous around. Fuck.

Is it still possible?

I have a lot of love for art, design, and social media, and designers love to tackle problems and look for a variety of ways to solve them.

After sort of falling away from Tumblr, (Due to a loss of interest, being busy with work, and getting tired of seeing lots of repetitive drama in some spheres of it) I retreated to very casual use of a rant/vent/anime/aesthetics account on mobile, and instead migrated to twitter for most of my online social interaction. This led to some improvements in my overall digital life. What twitter lacked in depth and the immense emotional discourse very prevalent on Tumblr, it made up for with expedience, conciseness and ease of blocking harassing agents.

After about a year of being very inactive on Tumblr and trying to progress somewhat with adult life, I’m happy to return with the experience and some tips learned from the post-2016 Election trenches of the twitter-verse.

Rule #1

The online world is (mostly) your oyster.

Follow who you want to follow, and unfollow those who no longer enrich or add value to your web time. This is ESPECIALLY true if you pay for your own internet bills (not only a Wi-Fi Router, but mobile data counts too.) Don’t spend a dime of your time on bothersome accounts. Block whatever you need to block. Don’t get roped into feeling socially obligated to carry out arguments or discourses that are going nowhere or are simply created for the sake of starting a crap-flinging contest. Block swiftly, and don’t make a production out of it. They will know who they are eventually if they’re the determined type with no life. If you need to turn off anon messages for your own mental health, just go on and do it. If you’re a character themed or ask blog and feel you need anon messages for traffic, you still aren’t obligated to reply to everything. It’s your blog.

Which leads to…

Rule #2

Be yourself. Value yourself, and value your content.

If you don’t like someone else’s content, see Rule #1. If there’s something truly harmful, promoting violence, hatred, or illegal activity, the report button exists for a reason. If you’re that mad that something exists and the mods of Tumblr are slow to remove something, you can get your friends and followers to block the post or username creating strife.

As for your own content, revel and enjoy what you create and the fandoms you participate in. People will be jerks sometimes and it sucks, but feeding the trolls helps nobody. Fed trolls just come back. If someone is trying to play you, but you’re not sure, watch some YouTube videos on dealing with internet trolls, or abusive personalities. Usually just blocking and ignoring or muting works.

Rule #3

If you want to be political on Tumblr, that’s totally fine, but PLEASE take time away from Tumblr to cultivate your own personal sense of morality, ethics, knowledge of civics, economics, environmental issues, race, culture, gender, sexuality, and basic human psychology.

You will probably be much happier if you don’t let Tumblr be the one and only yardstick for what’s right and wrong and everything in between in our world. If you get into your own echo chamber too much, the thought styles can become very “all or nothing.” which can cause a lot of anxiety for anyone with a nuanced opinion on anything. Didn’t I just say the online world is your oyster, and you should only follow blogs that you like? Yes, sure. That doesn’t mean you make them your only slice of the world you ever see ever. Duh. Chances are not all the blogs your follow are going to stick to their main topic 100% of the time, 24/7, anyway. Sometimes there will be world events that appear in your feed no matter how focused you try to make your follows. Sometimes you’ll want to participate in the fray of topics, and other times, you’ll just want to take a nap or work on other things.

But having Tumblr as your main source for political views can lead to awkward disconnects between how you want things to be and how things currently are, whatever the political situation is where you live: from the most liberal of metropolitan eras (which despite seeming like utopian LGBT havens on the outside, still have their share of problems), to the most stereotypically conservative, white-bread rural suburbs (Where a lot of great people might actually live). And that disconnect can definitely trigger a lot of pain.

Maneuvering your own personal role in social justice movements is many parts knowing who you are and who you want to be first, where the issues in your sphere of influence currently stand,  and where you really want things to go. It can take years to build a solid sense of core values and political leanings. Don’t feel too awful or in a rush to get everything right overnight, or ever, because perfection is the enemy of sustainable progress.

Rule #4

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS WHOLESOME AND DESERVING OF MERCY, STOP BULLYING MINORS.

Tumblr is a venue for users 13 and up, so a large portion of the accounts here are probably 13-17 year olds. They go to school, have friends, have families, and all the stress comes with living in the world that exists today. What they really DON’T NEED is the 18+ crowd punching down on them for making honest, even “cringeworthy” mistakes, posting art that may not be expert-level quality, or having the courage to post their own picture online, especially if they’re LGBTQ, or closeted. And they don’t need people DOXING and harassing them. If you are in your 20s, or more, and a teenage user bothers, annoys, or even says very hurtful things to you, YES it can still hurt a lot. Young people are capable of being very mean, sure, but at the end of the day it’s the elders who are expected to show responsibility, be a good role model of behavior, and supply the more mature response.  As for the teens on Tumblr, if you’re dealing with a problematic butt-face, you can block them. If they push the envelope into threats or potential violence, just take screenshots and report them.
Please try to remember that there are older people on Tumblr who do care about you, and want you to have a good experience, and adults who bully and harass minors are just wimps who are not the kind of people you should want to associate with.

Rule #5

If things just get too damn awful but you still love your feed, there’s always the option of setting your account to private.  

Give your URL (or personal Tumblr if you have a separate Artist/Business page) to people who you trust, and Trust with a capital T.  It can be more complicated if people are being rude on your business related Tumblr, and you may have to prioritize the fires you’re willing to try and put out. In order to best use your energy, it may just take a solid PR campaign and a lot of work to rebuild a reputation if you’ve been mobbed by trolls or a smear campaign for any number of reasons ranging from a minor mistake or misunderstanding, to a bigger problem that may have truly been your fault. Take some time to learn from the experience and reevaluate what you can approach differently or better the next time you do your online presence.

Summary!

1. Make Tumblr your oyster (Or whatever favorite food you like to eat. I think oysters are kind of gross actually.)

2.  Value yourself and your content. Don’t let likes and reblogs determine your whole day.

3. Develop your own personal sense of values away from Tumblr’s political weather. Social Justice is about actually helping people, not ego gratification. The issues our world faces will be constantly changing and reacting long after Tumblr becomes totally obsolete, and kindhearted people with a willingness to learn and act will always be more effective at social change than a follower count.

4. Stop Bullying Minors. Just stop. Take callout/cringe culture with a grain of salt and skepticism. Resist the urge to join a mob-train. Unless you’re roasting an established, public figure, adult asshole, you may never know who you’re bullying until it’s too late.

5. Go on private mode with a trusted network of friends if you need to. It may not always be fair, but do what works, when it works.

It seems the way to redeem the experience of Tumblr is to just not be passive about how you use it. If you just “Let Tumblr Happen To You,” your results may vary. Sometimes you just have to grab the wheel and steer your blog and what you follow into a more positive, purposeful, or individualized direction. Even for those of us who use Tumblr mainly just for laughs and to shoot the shit about memes, I hope these tips can be helpful!

Just for clarity, I don’t care if you do chivalry with your girlfriend or wife and she likes it. That’s your business between the two of you.

But c'mon! Don’t do it to random strangers in the city. Don’t do it to me!

I was just eating my breakfast, going over my Seattle commute memories. One thing I like about Seattle is the women here don’t typically enforce gender roles on each other, unlike possibly in other regions of the country. They usually leave each other alone if we’re strangers. It may be different with family members or in religious settings, but out and about in the street, there’s usually not much of that. At least I don’t notice it really.

But the guys…. It’s almost always the guys. Because chivalry is supposed to be a “guy thing” I guess, so if women never ask, then apparently guys are supposed to offer. Whatever. What. Ever.

On doors, the rules that I typically go by are if you’re with someone and naturally walk faster than them, then it’s OK to hold the door for them as they go in, and then casually catch up to them at their side.
Holding the door for people should not be used an excuse to creepily linger behind someone.
If you’re with someone who has both their hands full, holding the door for them is perfectly OK, because nobody wants to put their stuff down to open the door to hold it with their legs and then pick their stuff back up. That’s just silly when there is someone perfectly capable right near you.

On offering seats on buses and subways:
If it’s the end of the day and the bus is freaking crowded, and some guy offers me a seat, I don’t really care. Call me selfish, but if he wants to be nice, that’s his loss and I’ll sit my butt down. May as well take advantage while I can.
Offer seats for pregnant or elderly people. If they decline, don’t act a fool and insist. You might be bewildered that they would decline. Big deal, take it in stride. In fact if anyone declines, take it in stride.

On offering for someone to go ahead of you in line:

This is the one that really gets my goat.
You’ll just be minding your own damn business, walking into the bus in an orderly line at a good pace with everyone else, and then some scraggy-ass knight in shining armor will decide to hold up the entire line of other passengers behind you, to stand to the side of the bus door to let you pass in front of him like he’s just the coolest dude on the planet since sliced-bread-dude.
There are times when I won’t give a darn if some doofus wants to offer me to go before him in the bus line.
If the bus looks crazy crowded during rush hour, and it’s the end of the day and I’m tired,  it increases my chances of finding a seat myself and not needing to stand or have someone potentially offer me theirs which just doubles the awkward. Plus people are behind you, so if you stall, it makes things worse, and you’re basically trapped between shining knight and all the people behind you eager to get home. You take the gesture of his foolishness in stride, putting aside your pride because you don’t want to commit the greater social sin of holding up the bus and taking up other people’s time.

But if it’s the morning or early afternoon when you wouldn’t expect people to be tired, and the bus has hardly anyone in it, leaving plenty of available seats, why the heck would you offer someone to go in front of you? Don’t give me that “it’s just a habit” bs, because if being illogical for the sake of chivalry is a habit of yours, then I’m sorry. That’s your issue. Maybe some people might appreciate it, but I just find it annoying.

If some guy does this to me, (yes, it’s a “to” in my mind, not a “for” because it’s only a “for” if you have reason to believe the person would appreciate it.) I’m gonna just stand there with my face blank, looking at him like he’s totally lost it until he gets on the bus in the original line order. I don’t care if wild west music starts playing in the background like it’s a standoff. The seconds that pass will feel like minutes. I don’t care of he starts sweating bullets because I’m not complying with the expected response. Maybe I want him to sweat bullets, because he fucked up with a gender nonconforming person and I want him to think about why he’s fucked up instead of just going with “habit.” It’s annoying and this is one of those situations where I don’t care if I’m being cruel or ridiculous because he’s being just as ridiculous, but his brand of ridiculous just happens to be considered more acceptable by our society. And I want him to know that and become uncomfortable for making me uncomfortable. I will stand there and look at you like you’re from Pluto or something until you realize I don’t appreciate your gesture, and allowing me to go in front of you doesn’t make me think you’re nice. It makes me think you think I’m a lady who needs to go first up the stairs because I might trip on my dress. It makes me think you want to stand behind me because you have an agenda, or that you were raised in an environment that taught you to apply chivalry to situations that defy logic.
Not that someone like you would actually care what I think, but all in all, it doesn’t make me like you. It makes me think you want to control women, even just a little bit, or those you view as women. You won’t get a number from me, and you won’t get a conversation. You won’t even get a second look.

Tldr: don’t try to be a gentleman if you’re actually just a clueless douchebag. Don’t be a “gentledouche.”

Oh no. No no no no no. You ain’t talking to me. In fact, I just had an anonymous rant session with some chill teenager from the south end about how much I am not talking to you, and we anonymously bonded over each other’s life struggles and hopes for the future, and now you just wanna text “hi” and call tonight like I never got annoyed with you earlier today? Oh lawwwwwd have mercy. I don’t think so.

Trigger Warning: Fashion opinions

Normally, shoes and I are on good terms.
Not today.
There’s this ridiculous warehouse type store in my town that sells shoes, and of course it’s basically 3/5 women’s and then 1/5 children and 1/5 men’s. Short version of this story is: Decisive shoe shopping in especially the summer is futile because unless you want to get sandals or freaking “ATHLETIC SHOES” then you are mostly SOL.

I will try to describe in detail from the beginning to end, at least for my own venting and entertainment the events that went down this early afternoon.

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