nat20critfail asked:

HI! First off, I'd like to say that you're amazing and I love your blog! You're advice has helped me through more than a few sticky situations in writing. I'm a young writer (14 years old) and I'm writing a kind of romance story. Since I'm pretty young and have no romance experience whatsoever, should I maybe wait until I'm older and work on other things for now?

Hello there, writerly friend~ ♥︎

You just posed one of my favorite paradoxes in writing. You see, nobody ever asks me:

“Hey Max, I am writing about vampires, except that I am not actually a vampire. What can I do to make sure the story is realistic?”

Or:

“Hey Max, I am writing about a teenager with a terminal illness, but I don’t have a terminal illness. What should I do?”

Or:

“Hey Max, I am writing about a character who is a soldier, but I have never killed someone in my life or served in the military. Should I enlist myself in the army?”

I meet so many writers who don’t believe they have the ‘experience’ to write about mundane things like ‘love’ and yet again nobody ever seems to question writing about things like ‘murder’ or ‘magic.’ I think it’s kind of funny— but, that doesn’t really answer the question. So, it’s time for me to take off my gloves and put things bluntly.

But my characters were. When i write, I am not there — and my experiences don’t matter at all — because the person you are reading about is not me.

As I have said countless times on this blog, when I write I am not the director or the actors— I am just the camera-man; I follow the characters and record their emotions. Do you think camera-men are required to have experienced what is happening on the other side of the lens? Of course not.

This is why that paradox is so amusing to me. Some writers think that they need to have experienced what they are writing about in order to be ‘realistic’ (whatever that even means), and yet nobody ever seems to bother with that when writing about the fantastical— werewolves, elves, shooting fireballs out of your fingertips, and whatnot.

Now, if you have read the above and you feel a great sense of freedom— now that you can finally get back to writing without worrying about ‘getting it right’ (whatever that even means), then you go on and write :D

But… if you read the above, and you still feel iffy about writing romance when you have never felt love, then I have some homework for you! I have tackled this very subject in the past in my weekly writing workshop, the Virtual Writing Academy:

Trust me, that should really cover all of your bases c;

I hope that this has been helpful! If you, or anyone, have any more questions feel free to send them my way~ ♥︎