Q: Is it acceptable to solicit cash donations to fund my child’s extracurricular school trip from friends, family and business acquaintances? In the event that someone solicited does not reply, is it reasonable to ask again, or should the silence be interpreted as a “no”?

Miss Manners says: Do you have reason to believe that these people have enough interest in your child’s extracurricular activities and sufficient discretionary funds that they would welcome the opportunity to contribute? Would you gladly do the same for their children? If you cannot say yes to both questions, Miss Manners advises you to refrain from attempting to embarrass them into complying. But she gathers that you did not refrain. Can you at least refrain now from dunning those who did not respond? Silence does indeed mean “no,” if not “Please go away.”

Your Head Bitch says: Look, I don’t have kids, but I know the various costs associated with them generally add up pretty quickly. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can shop those costs around to those around you. I understand that sometimes kids have to do fundraising to get like new cheer leading uniforms, or sell girl scout cookies or whatever the hell, and it’s fine if you want to offer to email some people to help with that process. But you’ve got to keep it casual, ok? Just say that if anyone is interested you can give them more information and leave it at that – don’t badger them about buying shitty Christmas wrapping paper in July on behalf of your kids. That being said, if your kids needs $20 to go on a field trip, I’m afraid that one is on you. The guy in the next cubicle does not need to be donating small amounts for your kid’s trip, I’m sorry. That just comes off as weirdly mooch-y, even if it isn’t intended to be, particularly if you’re not also regularly donating to his kid’s activities too. Leave the appeals to friends and family for large scale fund-raising and try and limit it to twice a year, max. A cheer leading team only needs so many new uniforms.

Plus, everyone’s kids have the same shit, and people only need so many ugly aprons.