Q: My niece has been appointed as a judge. I plan to send a card of congratulations. Is there anything else I should do?

Miss Manners says: Such as clearing up all your unpaid parking tickets? Miss Manners would consider a handwritten letter of congratulation sufficient.

Your Head Bitch says: I think a card would be plenty to congratulate your niece on the honor, though if you really wanted to do a little something extra you could buy her a nice pen to commemorate the occasion as well. That’s usually a safe choice for work related gifts for people in law/business fields. When you do send her card, though, be sure you properly address it in light of her new title – letters to judges are rightly addressed to The Honorable Mary Perkins, not just Ms. (or Mrs!) anymore! For our readers who speak the Queen’s English rather than the President’s English, the correct title is either The Honourable Justice Mary Perkins, which is pretty good as far as titles go, or The Right Honourable Mary Perkins, which I think we can all agree is a fucking super badass title. It’s almost enough to make you want to become a judge yourself, though I think it may partially be an attempt to make up for the fact that they have to wear such terrible wigs.

Seriously, it’s a really bad wig.