Q: We have several very overweight friends whom we often entertain in our home. We have been friends for more than 40 years, and numerous times they have broken the frames of our sofas and also have broken chairs. One friend in particular comes over quite often to watch sports games. He is probably 300-plus pounds and tends to just plop down hard onto our furniture. What can we do or say to our heavy friends? We just replaced our sofas, AGAIN.

Miss Manners says: Your 300-pound friend is aware of his effect on furniture, and Miss Manners assures you that he takes no more pleasure in hearing a couch support snap under him than you do in making repairs. Guide him to a chair that will support his weight with the explanation that you are sure he will be comfortable there. If you don’t possess such a chair, buying one has to be cheaper than continuing to replace sofas.

Your Head Bitch says: What can you do for your heavy friends? You can be a bit compassionate, for a start. He’s probably mortified every time he hears the couch creak and snap under his weight. And if you’re 300 pounds, I think all sitting becomes “plopping down heavily” – to use your words – pretty much no matter what you do. It’s difficult to be graceful. So, you know, maybe start by not assuming he’s “plopping” willy-nilly because of his blatant disregard for your furniture’s long-term well-being.

They do make chairs specifically to accomidate people of additional girth, and I think Miss Manners is right, you should make it a point to invest in one, both for his emotional well-being, and the well-being of your other furniture. Genuinely, it wouldn’t even be a chair just for him, it’ll just be an incredibly sturdy piece of furniture that will assuredly last you a very long time, no matter who sits in it. Think of it that way.

This is NOT an option.