SYNOPSIS

There are demons so terrible that no mortal man of God could successfully drive them back to Hell. The only option is for the exorcist himself to invite possession and then commit suicide, dragging along the demon to damnation—so the Augustine Interfaith Order of Hellbound Saints, or Hellbenders, was formed. A group of elite, highly-trained exorcists, they live in a constant state of debauchery so they will be ready to go to Hell at any moment.

When an infernal Norse demon called Black Surtr escapes into New York City intent on cracking open the gates of Hell, the Hellbenders must use every ounce of their debauchery to battle the demon and save the planet from eternal damnation!

CRITIQUE

One of the best movies of all time. So many great, memorable scenes that will be studied and recited years to come.

Hellbenders starts out with a paranormal investigation at a New York library, in which ends quite messily. Once that happens..oh, wait. I’m sorry. That was the classic opening sequence to Ghostbusters.

In Hellbenders, a killer of the after-life is in search for Twinkies, stumbles upon a Native American store, and starts smashing all kinds of…oops, I am mixing Hellbenders up with Zombieland.

Mid-half of Hellbenders, a demon angel kills a bartender after making a ‘holy bartender joke,’ then a poop-demon appears (or does the poop-demon appear beforehand?)  Actually, never mind.  I think that was from Dogma.

Well, there is an edge of your seat moment tail-end of the film when an exorcism occurs, and the priest compels to Jesus, then says 'take me, take me’ to the demon. Yes indeed, that was in The Exorcist, and every exorcist-related movie that was unleashed after 1973.

Okay, enough of the sarcasm.  Hellbenders is a bad film on many levels:

-the subject matter is tiresome

-the comedy bits are juvenile

-above all else, the film is BORING

I couldn’t watch the entire movie in one sitting, so I watched it in stages in the course of a couple of days (like reading a book). I am sorry, but there is not one redeeming quality this film has. Thus far, it’s the worst movie I’ve seen.

THE VIDEO

Hellbenders is presented on a dual-layer 50GB Blu-ray MPEG-4 MVC Video with a 2:40:1 1080p transfer.

I don’t have a 3D TV (though I don’t think the 3D gimmick would improve this movie any), but a 2D transfer is also attached to this Blu Ray set. 

THE AUDIO

This Blu-ray features an English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 soundtrack with English/Spanish subtitles.

THE EXTRAS

 Extras here include:

1. Audio commentary with writer/director JT Petty and cast

2. 'God’s Dirty Word: The Making of Hellbenders’ featurette

3. 'Fly on the Wall’ Behind-the-Scenes Footage

4. Original 'Exorcism’ short films

5. Digital HD Ultraviolet Copy

FINAL THOUGHTS

Life is too precious to waste your time with this stinker. But if you do stumble upon this in the $5 dollar bin and just so happen to be slightly curious, make sure you take a shower after the viewing.

VERDICT: SKIP IT