How to tell if Lyoness is feeling unwell? 

She didn’t touch a single butt at an entire day derby event. And there were so many touchable butts. 

An excellent article on derby. Take a moment and read this, it doesn’t just apply to derby but every sport. 

If roller derby was easy, everyone would do it. It isn’t. It isn’t even remotely easy. Maybe there was a time where it was easiER, but in modern roller derby, even the smallest leagues have high demands on their skaters.

It’s true that anyone can come into this sport and be successful if they have the right mentality…but it is not easy.

It is so typical for skaters to run into road blocks. Every level of derby girl plateaus. It’s the nature of the beast, sadly. Overcoming those plateaus (whether skater tot or vet), can be some of the most difficult days.

There’s the social thing to contend with too, especially at the beginning. It’s “so cool” to play, and that’s what the friends and family see: “Look at her, she’s a DERBY GIRL!” Some people can get pre-occupied by the cool factor of zombie socks and neon pink skate laces.

Getting pre-occupied by the cool factor will not lead you to overcoming obstacles. Even skaters that are interested in just the recreation of derby, need to take their training seriously. You skate for a league, but don’t want to skate at an All Star level? That’s alright. Not everyone has the time or desire for highly competitive tournaments or intense strategy sessions.

That does not mean you should slack on your basic skills.

Every skater on the floor contributes to the safety of the pack, the pace line, the cardio drill. If your balance is still terrible after six months of skating, it’s possibly that when you lose that balance, you’ll be grabbing the nearest teammate (in an effort to steady yourself). 9 times out of 10, you aren’t the one that ends up hurt – it’s that teammate that didn’t see it coming.

So your balance is terrible. Ask yourself: “What have I done to better it?”

There is a lot of self-recognition involved in training for derby. It is so hard to admit our fears and weaknesses. It is difficult to accept that maybe (just maybe) you actually ARE low blocking opponents, and the refs aren’t blind. Maybe your footwork is not up to par with your team. Maybe you don’t put in 110% into the team cardio drills.

For as much as roller derby is a very physically-driven sport, the real challenges are mental. Are you brave enough to admit that you give up when it gets hard, and THAT is why you still can’t do 25 in 5? Are you brave enough to stop giving up? Are you brave enough to go to practice, even when you’d rather stay home with Ben and Jerry and The Bachelor? Are you strong enough to admit that you need to do something – anything! – outside of practice to make yourself get better. Are you strong enough to admit that your stride could be better, or your hits are ineffective?

When you’re a fresh meat and you’re told to just skate along the wall while the other skaters do their cardio – do you skate on the wall or do you push yourself to sweat as much as the strongest vet? Are you bold enough to ask questions, or do you assume no one will like you? Do you use the excuse that you have rental skates and can’t do as much, or do work extra hard to make up for the lack of good equipment?

Now, we’re down to it. There is a lot that you have to look in on within yourself. When it gets difficult, when it hurts, when you feel like you have nothing more to give – what do you do?

This is what separates real derby girls from those who just want the trophy of a derby name.

Even recreational level players know how to dig deep. Even newbies know how to watch one more derby bout. And even vets lose their balance, they are not perfect. Eight wheels are a great equalizer. It is possible for anyone of any level to work to greatness; if they are not afraid to be great. If they are not afraid to fail and then pick themselves back up. If they are strong enough to face their fears.

For every lap you do outside of practice, that’s one more lap than someone sitting on the couch. For every mile you run, that’s one more mile than someone who says it isn’t worth it. Every lunge, every burpee, every jumping jack makes you stronger.

Breathe. Do one more set. One more mile. 10 more laps. It will better you. Not just for roller derby, but for life. You will have more energy at work. You will sleep better. You will lower your blood pressure. You will live longer and be happier. Breathe. Add 5 more pounds. One more exercise. One more footwork drill.

At practice, when you think you cannot do it anymore, you are wrong. You can. Five more laps of push drill. Another 40 laps in 8 minutes. Another jam with the star. Another 20 push-ups.

Whether you have been skating three weeks or three years you will have bad nights. You will have off nights. You will not feel like going to practice. How do you respond? Do you lash back and work twice as hard the next time? Do you make up for it in your workout the next day? Or do you resign yourself to, “That was good enough.”

Keeping track of your workouts is a great way to keep yourself accountable and understand what your body may be lacking. Keep a workout and food journal. Take a hard look at how many calories you are (or aren’t) eating, and what kind of calories. You may think you’re working hard outside the rink, but the paper will show you. There are great websites like Fleetly.com and MyFitnessPal.com to help with goals and accountability. They can be invaluable to the athlete that needs the extra push.

Prove the disbelievers wrong. If you mess up, do it again. If you need balance work, start doing yoga 20 minutes a day. If you haven’t worked out in years, strengthen your joints and do squats at home. If your hits aren’t effective, go back to the basics. It’s hard to think about, but it is hard to be successful in roller derby. Hard, but not impossible.

Push through the pain. Visualize yourself on your toe stops, juking through the pack like Bonnie Thunders. Imagine it. You’ve stopped Atom Matrix with a killer booty block and she can’t get around you. Breathe. Sudden death jam, you have the star. Hydrate. Ten minutes left, you’re up by 10 and a spot at regionals is on the line. Breathe. Do it. Fight for it. A little at a time if need be. You can accomplish this. You can be strong. We all can.

But will you?

There are days I feel like this, but then I remember that I love this sport and I am doing this for me and my team. 

I’ve been thinking lately about roller derby and my place in it. I’ve now played two wonderful seasons with my beautiful Debutantes but sometimes the drama and cattiness that happens when that many woman are together really gets to me. 

I’m also lacking focus right now, our training is not what I expected or needed this season. We are a player run league and it takes a lot to run a league, but I find our training is lacking direction or goals. I’m still unable to do some basic skills and even though I practice and practice them I’m still very stagnate, I believe this is part of my lack of motivation with the sport right now.

I’m seriously considering not bringing my gear with me to Australia and just packing my yoga mat and focusing on my yoga practice for the next year. I was a much nicer, more centred, calm person when I was practice in university. 

If I do find that I miss derby and want to be involved I can always purchase new gear, my skates should be replaced, my knee pads need to be replaced, having two many helmets is never a problem. 

I’m going to think about this some more and see how I feel before I leave. 

I know I don’t write much on here and for that I’m sorry. I want to let you guys into my life and share with you but I’m a little overwhelmed with what to share. I work and a play roller derby, I adventure outside of those things with my derby ladies and my work colleagues but I’m not sure what you want to hear about. 

I’m going to try and document more about my journey here and everything that’s going on. Some exciting news… my boss asked if she could sponsor me. Now we start looking into what it takes to keep me here and become a permanent resident. The downside of this is there is a huge cost associated with sponsorship in lawyers fee and visa applications and everything, and I work for a small business where it’s not really possible for my boss to pay it all. We’ve come to an agreement that I will foot half of the bill to keep me, around $2500 which on my current wage is a little out of my price range. I know everyone and their mum has a gofundme going, I would be forever grateful and humbled if you guys have any spare coin to help a sister out.  Click here to help me stay in Australia.

I’m finally going to see a doctor about a mental health plan. The past several months have been pretty shit. The things that used to make me happy really don’t spark any joy or make up for the bullshit I deal with in my head on a daily basis.

I have some problems at work and it’s not resolving anything in my life. I feel like I let my partner down, myself down and everyone down. And when I do ask for help it’s not given cause I’ve been so untrustworthy in the past.

I needed to write this out before I talk to the doctor or I’ll go totally off my rocker.