On Love. And growth. And breaking up.

“Hendrix believes most unions are salvageable and divorce can be "an abortion of the growth process.” That’s because we’re invariably drawn to a partner who in some way resembles one of our primary childhood caretakers, and it’s only in the adult relationship that we can complete unfinished business and heal our oldest wounds. To break off a marriage without resolving the underlying conflicts and power struggles—and understanding your role in them—is, he feels, to set yourself up to repeat the same pattern in your next love affair. He concedes almost reluctantly that, in some cases, a couple can decide that they’re moving in different directions, with different values. “It might no longer make sense for two people to spend their lives together,” he says, “but that doesn’t necessarily end the love they have for each other. It just ends the relationship.”