Colors
Got me some blue sky action
I’m breathing today.
I know I’m burning, this is my final day.
I’m gonna go out smiling
A king for a day.”
The skies were that perfect California blue. The ocean was its deeper shade. The beach was heavily populated in the beginning, but we walked until we found seclusion, in a small cove between two rock faces covered in tide pools. I was long overdue for a beach excursion, and this one was going to be extra special. It was 3:30 when we took the shrooms; this was the plan. Get to the beach, ingest a psychedelic, and enjoy the ride. This wasn’t my first psychedelic experience, but it was my first shroom voyage. They tasted awful; old and tough like they had gone bad ages ago, but I was very excited. It was 3:53 when the rocks above me started to wiggle and pulsate. Smiling, I excitedly closed my eyes and the warm colors of the sun began to take shape, the textures shifting in an endless movement of pure creation. This only went on for about 15 minutes before I opened my eyes to the sand covered in pink specs like glitter, my fingers covered in the same specs. The horizon was fluctuating with purple in waves going up the ocean as opposed to towards the shore. I couldn’t stop giggling. Everything was funny to me, everything was fascinating. I was done closing my eyes, and I found myself on my feet, running from one end of the sand to the other. I was more a passenger than a pilot; I didn’t want to stop myself from exploring what my brain was creating around me.
Doing pirouettes around the stars.
We were running in the haze, I remember every shade,
Hit my veins and they shot up sparks.
Words fell from your lips, and all I heard was white noise in the dark.
But when you looked away, I remember every shade.”
I climbed up a rock face to the tide pools, where I thought the ocean waves sobered me up for two seconds (oh how wrong I was). I wandered about aimlessly; touching anemones in their pools, returning mollusks to the ocean. I could feel my cheeks hurting from the grin I wore. A million thoughts came to bloom only to fade away into others. I was aware of everything happening around me on a heightened level, but I was never overwhelmed by my surroundings. I was staring into the horizon, watching birds phase in and out of existence as they hunted in the ocean, surfers sitting on the purple water, rocking with the exploding waves.The afternoon drifted slowly by, and at one point, everything I knew about the world sort of just faded away. It was kind of like becoming a child again; or maybe it was more like becoming an observer to a world I no longer understood. I had forgotten what the point of films was for, I found myself trying to explain what it was people went to theaters for. It was what I had gone to college for, but at that point, I didn’t know what it was I went to school for. I didn’t remember what I studied, or rather what it was I was doing with myself. I thought of how people interacted with one another, the way strangers will touch each other’s lives only to never be seen again, or how people are cruel to each other for no reason other than selfish gain; gain that inevitably doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Money seemed foreign, pointless, as did the luxuries it afforded. I imagined our lifelines, the fragility of life, the briefness of it all, and how things are hard enough without people making things worse for each other. Millions of things were happening around me, they’re happening as I type this out, and that won’t change. One day we won’t be here, but everything will continue on without us. So why do anything besides be happy? I’ve always endorsed the idea of being good to people, because frankly, no one else will. It’s easy to be passive, but it’s not difficult to be a decent human being either. I watched sea lions breach the shore as the sun set around us. I watched people jumping into waves, the pink specs had faded from the beach. The colors had quieted around me. My trip had ended.
we’re painting in the dark.
Let your colors run tonight,
The colors or your heart.
So let your colors run tonight
we’re painting in the dark.
Let your colors run tonight,
The colors or your heart.”
The bliss I felt right up until the comedown was unmitigated, but I hadn’t crashed. The walk back to the hotel was mostly quiet, my mind was still very much in a child-state. Nothing bummed me out more than the idea that my voyage had reached its inevitable conclusion, because I felt the insightful nature of my trip was almost therapeutic. My friend described the phenomenon as an "afterglow,” where I’d feel residual effects for days to come, possibly even a week after. The shroom voyage was nowhere near as intense as my experience on 2CB, but it was a trip that I felt lucky to have. Here’s looking forward to the next trip into my mind.
-J
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