The Informed Pagan

9th March 2015

opalborn:
I’ve realized recently that I sometimes refer to “how I see (deity)” or similar phrases without actually having explained, I think, what I mean by that.
The gods do not come to me in visions; I do not see them. I couldn’t tell someone what color eyes Poseidon has, or how Athena likes to style her hair. (I’m setting aside for the moment the fact that the gods don’t have physical bodies and thus the question of “how does so-and-so look?” is entirely useless.) Sometimes, in meditative contemplation or just out of the blue, images will appear in my mind that remind me of them, and these typically become my preferences for artistic representations. Other times, I make logical or associative leaps because I like the thought of something — Poseidon’s eyes changing colors easily in different moods or lighting, for instance. But at no point are any of these images or opinions a statement about the Theoi themselves: they are statements about me, about how I envision them.
When speaking of how a god ‘feels’ or what a god’s energy or attitude is like, I should be making a similar disclaimer. The gods do not, on the whole, interact with me as if they are people. We don’t have conversations; they don’t voice their opinions on type of incense or color of candle or anything else. Rather, I reach out to them — I pray, I meditate, I contemplate a particular epithet or story and seek to be open to their influence or presence, should they wish to make it known. They don’t always, and that’s fine; I’m not worshiping them because I want them to be my buddies. Their response, if it comes, is a bonus, not the point of the exercise. When they do, I still don’t typically perceive this as an interaction. It’s more like … standing next to a campfire. The fire warms me, but it doesn’t care that I’m there. It’s not giving me instructions or asking me for things; it’s just existing. That’s how I feel the Theoi, when I do: they radiate, and they get close enough (or I get close enough, though given that I can’t do it every time, I’m inclined to say it’s them moving nearer or further away) that I can feel that radiation. Thus, I can say that in meditation, Athena has ‘felt’ to me similar to a museum or a large library: the hush, the reverence. Poseidon, in a couple of borderline ecstatic brushes against his presence I’ve had, has felt overwhelmingly powerful and strangely bright. But I can’t say something like “Athena is very direct and to the point” — that’s a reasonable conclusion to draw from everything recorded about her, but I don’t talk to her. She can’t be curt in speech if we don’t speak.
I’ve remarked before that the Theoi are not subtle. They aren’t, but I rarely have cause to ask them for signs. Hermes in particular I think leaves signs (for me, in my life) just to point out that he exists. It strikes me as almost a game to him. Occasionally coincidences or stray thoughts will remind me of one of the Theoi, and I tend to interpret that as a reminder to honor that particular god that day — I don’t pay a lot of attention to whether these are “real” signs or not, because the outcome is a good one and is something I’m always happy to do. I feel like “burn some incense for me” doesn’t merit the same level of scrutiny as, say, “change your religion and focus your devotion on me” would.
So, if I say something in a post about “how I see Athena” or “how Poseidon feels to me”, this is the background for that kind of statement. This is what I mean by it.
Much of this is very similar to how I “feel” and “see” my gods. I have pictures and associations I have built up in my head over time, based on my own personal associations. I don’t have visions, I don’t talk to them in a physical sense, and I don’t particularly have a godphone. In fact the most direct communication/contact I ever had with a god was still vague and cryptic. But still I feel them and know them. They speak to me through my art and through the world around me in a hundred ways (though discernment is still important). I find them in research, and songs, and discussion with others. Sometimes someone else will say something that just strikes a chord. And gradually I refine the pictures in my head to be more in line with the things I have learned and felt.

Tagged: gods deity paganism pagan