While a good number of Facebook friends suggested I put my husband’s colossal zucchini to “pleasurable use”(sickos), I elected my holistic health counselor of a friend’s recommendation for zucchini “pasta.” I’ve been an avid follower of her blog, Living Body Wellness, for a while now and almost every day I can be found “liking” her attractive Instagram posts featuring smoothies and food made with chia seeds, coconut oil, hemp hearts, spirulina, aloe vera juice. [Insert more “healthy” buzz words here.] When she posts, I listen. I don’t necessarily run out and buy hemp hearts, but I might come home that evening and decide to drink more water. On my Facebook wall, she put quotes around “pasta” because this dish is, in fact, not pasta. It is zucchini made to look like pasta. It’s pasta trickery! As a lover of all things pasta – I will admit it – I was skeptical. But I did really want to make something where I could taste the bloom of the zucchini. If I was a commenter on my own wall, I would have typed: “zucchini and cheddar mini quiche!” (duh) because it’s an easy go-to recipe of mine, one I hold near and dear to my heart, not to mention addictive-delicious. That said… you can’t taste the zucchini. You see it in there, it adds to the flavor of the quiche, but you’re not like “Oh, this zucchini tastes great.” Zucchini “pasta” (or “ribbons” as I’ve taken to calling it) seemed the best tactic to garner, at the very least, a sweet pat on the back from my husband who is always very, very proud of his vegetable bootee. This meal took minutes to make and, yes, it was as filling (and delicious) as a plate of pappardelle. Lots of garlic (go crazy), lots of lemon (keep squeezing), salt and pepper (always), grated pecorino (for good luck), and a dollop (or three) of pesto, and BAM… I may not be a living body of wellness, but when the bottle of wine runs out, we do glug our water bottles. 

A reminder to all that this was what I was up against. 

Whipped out the old peeler and got to work.

Adding to Buzzfeed’s List of 29 Feelings That Are Better Than Sex would be #30: Fashioning Zucchini Ribbons.

Like I said, go crazy on the chopped garlic. And yes, I have a fancy cutting board with my name branded into it. (Thanks, Michael Brown.)

Super simple. Hot pan. Olive oil. Garlic. Saute for a minute, then drop the ribbons. Stir for up to 10 minutes, adding salt and pepper, and lots of…

lemon. 

When it’s done, it’ll be noticeably softer, yet still have retained some crunch. Doesn’t it look like hand-pulled noodles? I sprinkled a touch of pecorino…  

and pesto.

By the way, this was my first time buying this brand of pesto. (Worth the dollars. Secret ingredient = cashews.)

I will be making this again REAL SOON. 

PS: Because my husband’s colossal zucchini was THAT COLOSSAL, I turned the rest of it into zucchini bread (thanks to another awesome Facebook wall recommendation).