I know that those who hate have good reason to do so. But why should we always have to choose the cheapest and easiest way? It has been brought home forcibly to me here how every atom of hatred added to the world makes it an even more inhospitable place. And I also believe, childishly perhaps but stubbornly, that the earth will become more habitable again only through the love that the Jew Paul described to the citizens of Corinth in the thirteenth chapter of his first letter.
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Etty Hillesum on Edith Stein and her companions
There was a remarkable day when the Jewish Catholics or Catholic Jews – whichever you want to call them – arrived, nuns and priests wearing the yellow star on their habits. I remember two young novices, twins with identical beautiful, dark ghetto faces and serene, childish eyes peering out from under their skullcaps. They said with mild surprise that they had been fetched at half past four from morning mass, and that they had eaten red cabbage in Amersfoort.
There was a priest, still fairly young, who had not left his monastery for fifteen years. He was out in the ‘world’ for the first time, and I stood next to him for a while, following his eyes as they wandered peacefully around the barracks where the newcomers were being received. […]
I looked at the priest who was now back in the world again. ‘And what do you think of the world now?’ I asked. But his gaze remained unwavering and friendly above the brown habit, as if everything he saw was known, familiar from long ago. That same evening, a man later told me, he saw some priests walking one behind the other in the dusk between two dark barracks. They were saying their rosaries as imperturbably as if they had just finished vespers at the monastery. And isn’t it true that one can pray anywhere, in a wooden barracks just as well as in a stone monastery, or indeed, anywhere on this earth where God, in these troubled times, feels like casting his likeness?
Etty Hillesum describes the arrival at Westerbork camp of a group of Jewish Catholic religious, among them Edith Stein (St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross). The group arrived at Westerbork on 2 August 1942
Letter of 18 December 1942, An Interrupted Life, pp.302ff.
The sky is full of birds, the purple lupins stand up so regally and peacefully, two little old women have sat down on the box for a chat, the sun is shining on my face – and right before our eyes, mass murder. The whole thing is simply beyond comprehension.
Etty Hillesum, writing a letter in Westerbork camp as 3000 Jews are loaded into 35 freight cars bound for Poland.
“The freight cars had been completely sealed, but a plank had been left out here and there, and people put their hands through the gaps and waved as if they were drowning.”
Letter of 8 June 1943, An Interrupted Life, p.332.
‘Yes, Christianity, and why ever not?’
Klaas, all I really wanted to say was this: we have so much work to do on ourselves that we shouldn’t even be thinking of hating our so-called enemies. […]
And I repeat with the same old passion, although I am gradually beginning to think that I am being tiresome, ‘It is the only thing we can do, Klaas, I see no alternative, each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. And remember that every atom of hate we add to this world makes it still more inhospitable.’
And you, Klaas, dogged old class fighter that you have always been, dismayed and astonished at the same time, say, 'But that – that is nothing but Christianity!’
And I, amused by your confusion, retort quite coolly, 'Yes, Christianity, and why ever not?’
Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life, pp.258f. (23 Sept 1942). Klaas Smelik, Sr was a Communist who had befriended Etty in 1934, and who made repeated offers (which she refused) to help her go into hiding after the German invasion of the Netherlands.
Something else about this morning: the perception, very strongly borne in, that despite all the suffering and injustice I cannot hate others. All the appalling things that happen are no mysterious threats from afar, but rise from fellow beings very close to us. That makes these happenings more familiar, then, and not so frightening. The terrifying thing is that systems grow too big for men and hold them in a satanic grip, the builders no less than the victims of the system, much as large edifices and spires, created by men’s hands, tower high above us, dominate us, yet may collapse over our heads and bury us.
Those psalms that have become part of my daily life were excellent fare on an empty stomach.
So let this be the aim of the meditation: to turn one’s innermost being into a vast empty plain, with none of that treacherous undergrowth to impede the view. So that something of ‘God’ can enter you, and something of 'Love’, too. Not the kind of love-de-luxe that you revel in deliciously for half an hour, taking pride in how sublime you can feel, but the love you can apply to small, everyday things.