Answer to submission starting with “Recently my mother found out…”
Recently my mother found out about my depression but other than suicidal thoughts she doesn’t know the extent of it. She doesn’t know that I have cut or how many times I have. She expects me to do a lot, I have a full schedule almost every day and that doesn’t leave much time for school work, unwinding (which is something I desperately need after school), and spending time with friends. If I don’t do something she wants me to she tends to get mad and rag on me about it and I don’t know how to explain to her that her doing that is just making me feel worse. I want her to be proud of me but I also need time to focus on myself or things that need to get done and I don’t think she understands that. It’s causing me to get even more stressed and overwhelmed than I already am. I don’t know how to tell her that though because lately I haven’t really been comfortable sitting down and telling her about things, especially about things like this. I don’t know how to tell her though.
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Hey there!
Oh man, I’ve been exactly where you are right now. It’s really frustrating wanting to express yourself but not knowing how to or knowing if you even can. Luckily, we have a page right here on how to tell someone you self-harm. It’s completely understandable if you don’t want to tell your mom about that, but you can change some of the advice on the page to fit what you need.
Sitting down and telling someone face-to-face what is going on can be really hard to do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell them. You could write a letter or an email to your mom telling her that you’re feeling overwhelmed and would like more downtime in your daily routine. Your letter could go something like this:
“Dear mom, as you know I have been diagnosed with depression. This makes it really hard for me to have the energy or emotional capacity to take on my very full schedule, schoolwork, and additional chores. I really need time to unwind after school, and when I don’t get that time I feel even worse. I know we’re both busy, but is there a way we could come to a compromise about my obligations and free time?”
This starts an open dialogue between you and your mother, and it gives her the chance to approach you about this issue. Having your mother come to you will probably be a lot less stressful than having you go to her first.
Time to relax and unwind is really important to everyone’s health, and I hope your mother sees it that way too. Additionally, please visit this page the next time you have an urge to self-harm. It’s filled with alternatives and distractions that can help keep you safe and happy.
Good luck!
Marie
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