our friend noah
almost got mugged today
they were like “give us your money”
and he literally was like “no thanks?” and WALKED AWAY
and it worked
WHAT THE FUCK????
me and my friend were walking down the street and she had her phone in her back pocket and she felt someone take it and she immediately turned around, grabbed his arm, and said “phone.” and he just gave it back
WEAK-ASS MUGGERS GOD PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER
sirius black making no less than 37 deer related jokes in his best man speech
Deerly beloved, family, and friends, it behooves me to deliver this speech to two of the purest harts I know, two individuals so fawned of each other that it completely bucks the notion of superficial love.
Doe they will surely go through many trials and tribulations in the years ahead—many high and low points; stag-nant periods, when their love seems fallow—I know, as someone who knows them best, that they will not allow themselves to fall into a rut.
When it’s all over, and people are sitting around telling tails of these two, they’ll be telling each other the purest love story anyone has ever herd.
I’M SCREAMING
