There are times when I start to notice things: how cooking black rice spews out the blowhole of the cooker creating a Pollack on the wall and underneath the cupboard, how the anthers of a delightfully odorous white lily hangs precipitously waiting to leave its indelible amber spoor on my keyboard and streaks across my clothing. These are the times when no human being, four-legged creature or parrots should engage with me, save my mother during an emergency.

Welcome to willful, “gainful” funemployment, Ligs. Now you have the time to really entertain and indulge all the crap that’s going around in that noggin in hopes of finding out what it is that fuels you, and eventually doing something productive with that. Bon Voyage! To where? Shrug. In the meantime, I’m going to purge my apartment of the superfluous (seems to be a four-or-so year ritual) and teach more overweight Indonesian babies to smoke 40+ cigarettes a day (I wish I made up this bizarrity. And yes, I made up that word.).