Thoughts and Ramblings

I’m sitting here in the bathtub getting my morning “me” time, reading online articles and just preparing for my day.

It’s a big day, and again, I’m more emotional than I thought I would be.  Today’s the day that the Supreme Court begins listening to the Prop 8 case.  We don’t know what the outcome will be.  They could uphold Prop 8, which would invalidate so many marriages and families in the state of California.  They could overturn it, but make the ruling so that it only applies to California, or they could overturn it and make the ruling apply broadly to America.

Some of you have read my (recently neglected) blog, where I share stories from my own marriage.  I have lots of friends that are married, and we share stories all the time.  It seems that the only real difference between my marriage and theirs is that I’m married to another man.

I don’t believe in the power of prayer.  Never really did.  Even when I thought I was a believer, I still never thought that prayer worked.  I could never imagine a god that had nothing better to do than to listen to people beg and whine all day.  That being said, I get how it could be comforting.  At times like this, when your fundamental rights as a person, supposed to be considered equal under the law (Amendment 14 to the United States Constitution) is sitting in the hands of 9 people that don’t know you, have never met you, and likely never will, I can see how it might be comforting to want to appeal to a higher power.

While my marriage may not be that different from those of my hetero friends, my life is.  I can get the same things they get, sure, but I have to put more work into it.  I have to adopt a child, so my credit has to be good, I need to own a house if I want to get an infant.  To buy that house with my husband, we’re both going to have to be in the loan and deed, because we’re not (currently) allowed survivorship rights.  I can hold hands with him and kiss him in public, but there’s always a little fear that the wrong person saw that.  We wouldn’t just get some prude who tells us to get a room, they might kill us.

By all accounts, it’s getting better for us.  I think it will get better FASTER when marriage equality is the law of the land.  By having a government that says “you are equal,” the mindset begins to change.  The struggle will likely never be over, but we’ll be closer to the finish line.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, I await the outcome of today’s oral arguments with great hope as well as great fear.

Thanks for reading, I guess?  Good luck to us all today.