shit

i missed you tonight. I miss you most of the time, but tonight it ached. in that space in your chest where you feel happy, you can also feel an ache. i flirted with someone else instead of you, and i want to cry myself to sleep. i hate a lot of things right now. i hate alcohol, i hate this weird guy on the lights acoustic track, i hate physics, but shit how i hate not being able to be yours. i get it. seriously i do. even drunk i understand that it’s not fair to either of us. but hell i’m drunk and it still fucking hurts. i hate admitting that. i hate fake admitting that where i know you’ll never see it unless you know that i still have this url. which would surprise me because i don’t think you ever listened(?) that closely. I don’t know which would be worse, you proving me wrong or you proving me right. 

it did feel nice to have a body against mine though, and i hate myself for it. 

i hate being wrong

even more i hate being wrong when you were so so so right