Easy Does It — I submitted this to gaymalelove regarding an "Ask...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

I submitted this to gaymalelove regarding an “Ask Me” post from an Anon on their blog.

Below is what I submitted to gaymalelove regarding This Post. I guess he is not going to respond and post it on his blog.

Here’s an article on HIV written by a 14 yo “My Generation Takes HIV for Granted: http://www.thebody.com/content/art62389.html

Do these young kids really know anything?  Smart, many of them may be, but wise, not yet. 

This is not an attack, but I do have lots to say

They are teenagers… they wouldn’t be asking for advice if we truly have so much faith in that they will make the right decisions.  Teens can be a confusing time… we’ve all been there… I personally do not believe that you are promoting dangerous lifestyle… we must understand, 30 years ago, when HIV/AIDS was identified, SEX for gays or straights became dangerous (for everyone)…. back to the confused teen… it may send a mixed message when you encourage the practice of safer-sex then your next photo post is one that shows penetration without the use of a condom.  Remember… these are teens… again… if you have so much faith in them (and the safe-sex education their parents and schools are providing) then you wouldn’t need to give them any advice - they would know what to do. 

About your response to the Anon… some points were handled well.. others, in my opinion… you sounded condescending.  That anon could have very well been a teenage voicing his/her concern for his generation. Also, your blog can be viewed by anyone with a smartphone, laptop, or desktop with an internet connection.  You can’t assume that we have been viewing every post since you started this blog.  I am new to Tumblr, and no I do not know where you stand on every subject and I am not going to go back through your archives to read every single post (since 2009). 

I tried doing a search on your blog… first Keyword HIV… nothing… next, Keyword love… only one post came up.   Suggestion, tag your posts. Create FAQ links to specific topics.  That way we can see how you answered similar questions previously.  That way teens can look up specific topics and/or questions that other teens have asked.

Back to porn or love and barebacking… having faith in gay men or youths to make the right decision… true story.. my friend was dating a man… they fell in-love… they used protection… they discussed not using a condom anymore… my friend said, let’s get tested… they both did… they exchanged results – both HIV-… they started having sex without a condom…. Two months ago, my friend tested positive… turns out, his ex has been positive for years… never told my friend.  The blood work results he handed to my friend were created on a computer.  FAITH IN GAY MEN?  In our own community… we have liars, cheaters, manipulators, predators, criminals et al, just like the straight community. And those of us that are vulnerable, innocent, confused, naïve, have low self-esteem, low self-confidence, honest, trusting, or searching (a lot of our gay youths fall under one or more of these – that being said, remember what I said about mixed-messages), we may fall victim to those kind of men - no matter how smart we are.

Your posts that depict scenes of ‘gay male love’ are YOUR opinion on what is a good representation of love between two men (these are photos that you like… so you post them)  Again, ‘your’ opinion.  It doesn’t matter the camera angle, the lighting, or the passion in the models’ eyes it is still your opinion.  You can change all the captions to ‘Hot’ that is still your opinion.  I am happy for you that you see love… but I’m 38 year old.. I’ve seen plenty of porn in my day.  Now, I recognize some of the models in the explicit photos… my reference will always be to the gay adult video I saw them in.  Sure, it’s one snapshot but, it comes from a porn video.  If you got the photo from a porn site… guess what? It’s porn!  

Teens are impressionable. Even I, as an adult, had an ex claim that I didn’t love him because I wouldn’t bareback.  Now imagine if that was said to a teenager and then that teenager looks at your blog, at a post, that shows two men barebacking with the words Gay Male Love underneath.  Just like a teenage girl thumbing through a fashion magazine may start to believe that the only way to be beautiful is to be as thin as the models – that young gay male may see a that caption and believe that barebacking is an expression of love… he may choose to not wear, or have his partner not wear, a condom and that decision can change his life forever. 

AIDS is not a death sentence anymore… but that doesn’t mean that HIV/AIDS doesn’t kill.  Another friend of mine has been positive for only 2 years… his kidneys are failing because of the medication.  More and more guys are barebacking and more are contracting treatment resistant strains (a lot more than a decade ago).  We can’t take a backseat to this.

You want to give advice… don’t just give your opinion… post resources so your readers can further research the topic.  If you are an expert… it’s time to have a page that shows your credentials… if you’re not… then have a page that shows the reader where stand on certain issues.  I don’t doubt that you care… but you must remember these are ‘minors’ by answering their questions… no matter the intent… you are kinda telling them it’s alright for you to be on a site that has adult content.  To them that makes you the good guy… then whatever you post is good enough for them too… even barebacking.  You need to protect yourself as well as these young men.  If one of these kids makes a decision based on your advice or what they see on your site and it turns out to be a disaster for them, then what happens?  What happens when they say “Mom, I saw it on Gay Male Love”?  Teens are killing themselves across the country. Remember that.

There’s more

Gay male love

I am of mixed race but I identify as Black, I have been HIV+ for 9 years – most of your photo postings are of white (from twink to athletic to muscular) male couples.  Again, your opinion of gay male love…but what does this say to the young gay male person of color or the one who doesn’t have a six-pack?   

Listen… it’s your blog… do what you want… putting ego aside… you want to give advice… well… people are going to disagree… that’s a given… The Anon person could have chosen different words… but the issue will still be the same.  Don’t look for where you feel the person is attacking you… rather look for where the person could be right or where ‘you’ can supply the information to back your views.

Last thing… start using DISQUS commenting… that way discussions can be had on specific posts… your readers can then follow that thread. 

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