Specific, complicated, definitive identity.
The more you have the confidence to define yourself, the more you alienate others. The more they will push you away. The more they will point out your otherness to you, themselves, in a group… People assume their baseline is your baseline and are terrible at checking unless their point is to remind you that you are different than them. And the more your identity becomes complex, the more you will find yourself alone. The more you will find yourself preferring being alone because so often people, despite one or two identities you may share, will still do things that are terribly uncomfortable or rude to you, without malice or deeper thought, just because they are careless and unaware… And the more you may come to loathe and feel sad about your loneliness, though it may mean you have some key people in your life that are incredibly radical and wonderful and genuinely more close to you than you ever thought possible. I guess, in those moments, you just feel that melancholy and alienation, then hug those close to you who understand, love, and support you.
And then you just try to keep going because what is life except a journey in defining yourself?
