In a strategic move early Wednesday morning, the Orlando Magic have traded coach Stan Van Gundy to the Dallas Mavericks for Rick Carlisle and three of their top cheerleaders.
Van Gundy doesn’t mind the trade, saying “they have hoagies in Dallas too right?” Carlisle, however, is livid. He said Cuban assured him he would be staying in Dallas for “as long as Cuban felt like it. Or, wait, he said he’d try to keep me a while. I couldn’t really hear him over the loud music and strippers.”
The three cheerleaders are very excited because Orlando is “like, in Florida right? And we LOVE magic!!” J.J. Reddick has graciously offered to host them during the transition and to show the girls his “Magic stick”, which he says helps him both on and off the court.
Dwight Howard is very satisfied with the move, “this is what I’ve been talking about. I told them we have ugly cheerleaders and they fixed the situation. I’ll miss Stan, but I think Carlisle will be a good fit. It’s like trading Ron Jeremy for Jim Carrey, we’re all happy about it.”
(Stan and Jeff, in their younger days)
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