Signs of recovery from breast cancer (from R to L): gifts, flowers and a pink bra decorated with the prayer “CLEAR NODES.” Bought by yours truly, decorated by a more artistically-inclined cousin.

Real talk: for many reasons, last week was a rough week. One spent–for a few days, at least–in the hospital.

Before this post gets all sad, know that I’m okay! And so are my loved ones! But my vibrant, beautiful, I-wanna-be-her-when-I-grow-up mom went under the knife to remove a small strand of some pretty scary cancer. It’s gone and she’s making great recovery progress (time to party!), but it sucked nonetheless.

One part of the suckage? The food. OMG, guys. Why, in an establishment supposedly dedicated to speedy recovery and optimal health, can patients only find fake syrup, fake peanut butter, fake jelly, white bread and iceberg lettuce? Everything was empty calories, artificial ingredients and minimal nutrition. Awful.

If you find yourself (or a loved one) in a similar hospital-bound situation, do yourself a favor. BYOF. Seriously. Because nothing says “Welcome back to consciousness” like gelatinous gravy on instant mashed potatoes, or white rolls from a package alongside hydrogenated oil-filled peanut butter. *Shudder*

4 foods to help you survive the hospital
*note: this list does not take into account specific allergies or procedure-induced dietetic needs. Obvi, do not bring chamomile to the hospital if your doctor advises against herbal teas, or ice cream if dairy products are to be avoided!

1. The clear-liquids-only order: low sodium vegetable broth
The first thing my mama was instructed to eat post-surgery? Chicken broth. If she could hold clear liquids, she was ready to transition to solid foods. But low-grade chicken broth typically includes monosodium glutamate (aka MSG), corn syrup solids and a mountain of salt, among a whole host of other weird things. Spare yourself the huge intake of sodium and creepy chemicals (hydrolized soy protein? What?) and up the nutrient value by bringing your own low-sodium veggie broth instead.

2. The soft-foods-only or high-protein order: Greek yogurt
From the ingredient list of Kraft’s Strawberry & Orange Jell-O: high fructose corn syrup, natural and artificial flavor, red 40, yellow 6 (among other ingredients). Sugars: 17g. Protein: 1g.

From the ingredient list of Fage Nonfat Greek Strained Yogurt: grade A pasteurized skimmed milk, live active yogurt cultures (and that’s it). Sugars: 9g. Protein: 23g.

3. The high-fiber order: fresh and dried fruits
The fiber content of fresh and dried fruits are higher than that of fruit or vegetable juices. Plus, they last longer at the bottom of a hastily-packed emergency duffel bag.

4. The room-temperature-only order: homemade granola or trail mix
Hmmm. A slice of empty-calorie white bread smeared with margarine, or nutritionally dense, naturally sweetened crunchy granola? Yeah, tough choice.

I’m thankful to have spent very little time at hospitals, so this list was kept short and sweet. What high-power, low-prep foods would you add to it?