so i went to the bathroom at chili’s and it was super air conditioned in there. i was by myself and i said ‘wow it’s really cold in here’ and then followed it up with ‘one might even say it’s….chilly’

and i realized this is it. this is why im single. i make puns to myself in an empty bathroom.

in seventh grade my girlfriend wrote me a note to break up with me and i acted like i didnt find it and acted completely normal all day and sat with her at lunch and then at the end of the day i broke up with her in front of our whole math class and she said I BROKE UP WITH YOU FIRST and i said wow thats pathetic and nobody believes that and she cried and i watched gay porn in 7th grade anyway so the joke is double on her

hannibal is an awesome show

starts with a beautiful scenery and you’re like wow

then there’s weird murder stuff going on and you’re like wow

then they cut to scene of hugh dancy in his tight underwear and you’re like WOW

not to be A Lesbian but like……. butch girls really are wow…… femme girls really are wow……. do u ever just…. girls……. wow

not to be A Lesbian but like……. butch girls really are wow…… femme girls really are wow……. do u ever just…. girls……. wow

“lmao ____ people cant pronounce the _____ sound!!” wow ur right……. its almost like… there are thousands of languages other than english….. and they each use a certain set of sounds and dont use others……. and wow its almost like ur making fun of them when if you were 2 try and pronounce a ق or a ح u would sound like a fucking loser wow isnt that strange

ALT

wow. just....wow.

Quite possibly the dumbest commentary on abortion rights so far.

I beg your pardon