March 15, 2014

Anonymous asked: I feel like I might meet you serendipitously, date you for your beautiful brain, fall in love with you and then start hating you for your toxic mix of ego and self loathing. It would end organically. We'd both come away from it amicably, having thoroughly evolved as humans and more mature than when we met each other. Not a question.

Wrong, I’m afraid. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has started because of how amazing my ass looks in these jeans. Every one ends for the same reason as well, a reason that involves a bedtime ritual, a gas-mask, and a prop from the set of Titanic. 

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