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I can’t put into words how blessed I am to have parents who can, and are willing to pay for my college education, but at the same time, it puts me in a predicament where I constantly have to consider their expectations before making decisions.
For example, I’ve only made two real, drastic changes to my course of study since freshman year, and when it comes to that, convincing myself to take the first step has always been the first order of business. I’m a hugecritical thinker, which means that I don’t even cook dinner without thinking about everything that might be affected by that decision, but at the end of the day, I’m usually able to make a call on most things, and do so in a timely manner. The problem, however, comes when I have to convince my parents that I’m doing the right thing.
And to be fair, they’ve gone with every one of my decisions so far, which is more that most kids my age can say, but there’s still the sense that they disapprove of what I’m doing, and are worried about my future. Granted, that could just be me overthinking it, but I’m finding that the hardest part about making these decisions is taking on the fears and uncertainty that I imagine my parents have. It sounds crazy, but it’s exactly how I feel; deep down, I know that I’ll be fine, but I still have the nagging sense that my parents are worried, and that bothers me.
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