I’m drowning in these emotions
Which are only mine
When I am sober
All the thoughts that go away
When I’ve clouded my head
With whiskey and rum
Come rushing full force
Back into my brain
Like a 747 airplane
Rushing to get to its next destination.
I’m rushing to close my eyes
And sleep for the next 10 years again

I’ve lost all brain waves
Because I’ve been too busy trying to
Suppress all the bad thoughts that come with being me
I’m lucky to even still be alive when all they whisper
Is that I’m a fuck up
I don’t belong
Ungrateful bastard
Nobody gives a shit

I know I’m not the only one who has hear thoughts. I know
I’m not truly alone
But when they whisper that I am
I start to give in.
And then I truly start to become alone.
And now. Now I am. Really alone.
They don’t whisper anymore
And I don’t go outside

I sit ever so slightly
Waiting to see what will come
Your breath comes up behind me
And I shiver with anticipation

I feel you in every inhale
Exhale and beat of my heart
I knew it was you who would prevail
To see me open up and start

I’m still yours even though
I know you’re no longer mine
Sometimes I wish the feeling would go
But I’m stuck in the middle of time

If ever our souls meet again
This I now know to be true
I will forever fall madly in love my friend
All over and over with you

Our love is like a metaphor
In a way that I’m like the ocean
And you are the shore
No matter how much you push me away
I’ll always come back

Sometimes my tide will be higher
And I’ll reach all the places I need to
And sometimes I’ll be lower than usual
But I’ll still be there to make sure life’s ok

And even when it’s not you pushing
I’ll still be there to crash myself into the rocks
And bury myself in your sands
And hope that I can make life with you

I can never make you happy
No matter what I do
I build the highest, exceed the highest
And still I’m not good enough for you

I got a second job
To carry my own weight now
Yet, you still disapprove
And always ask me how
I’m going to get through this
Because you think I’m unmotivated
You say there’s something holds me back
And that you don’t know what it is
But I’ve told you many times
Or at least I thought I had tried

It’s never mattered to you
Or that’s how I’ve felt
I tell you my problems
And it’s still no help

I’ll never make you proud
I’m a constant disappointment
It’s useless, always has been
No matter, how I feel is pointless

I don’t know how you did it
How you opened my eyes
To see the sunrise in a world
Full of nothing but night skies
I mean I’ve always liked it dark
Too much for others taste
But you planted flowers
And love without haste
You opened me up
As wide as the sea
You showed me how tough
I could really be
You love very gracefully
You stitched me up tight
I’m glad I very faithfully
Trusted you on sight
I know it doesn’t make sense now
But before this poem is through
These are some reasons of how
I fell in love with you.

Keep reading

There was a point in my life
When I was completely fine
Until I discovered my self
And things became un-right

I still don’t understand
Why things have turned out this way
But please do not promise me
If you don’t intend to stay

I’m lost in a world of confusion
I don’t know what to do
I know your trying your hardest
Please understand I’m trying too

I’m trying to be true
To who I am inside
But it doesn’t always work
When all I can do is hide.