DAY 1841
NY 10021 NY, USA Apr/May 30, 2013 Tue/Wed 12 : 45 AM
This really is the most inappropriate time to be writing this missive that has been on from the time of time .. jet lagged, sleep deprived, the head bobs into visions of meaningless actions, and when we push ourselves into coming back to reality because there is work to be done, the visuals are quite astonishing ..
I wonder if many got that ..
See … there is a thought process on when and as you write .. then the words as they transpose in front of you on a white screen, seem to fade away into another comatose world .. certain strong visions appear, and you wonder what they are when suddenly, you are brought back to reality, by the brain I would imagine … the drifting away has stopped, but for some strange reason those words that were present in describing the ‘dose-off’, reappear on the screen as you punch in the tabs, and for a while all is well, until you stop to check what has been written .. and horror of horrors you do not know how to comprehend, what in the world you have punched in !! It is disconcerting, delusional and everything that can be associated with large amounts of nonsense !!
So … you walk across to the wash room, splash some cold New York plumbed water on the extremities of the face, and return … and write … and try to see if better sense prevails ..
And that really ladies and gentlemen is what you are confronting now - a propped up regular positioning of the body, a comfortable yet workable conditioning of the lap top, and a cross legged, somewhat longer than most normal, posture ..
A few 'jujups’ , sweet and crusty freshen the mouth, or perhaps it is the sugar that pucks you up and … there .. we are with sanity !!
And now I suddenly feel the anticipation of the film as it opens by the evening tomorrow ! Not so much the film per se, but the possibility of meeting up with those that come to cheer to encourage, to express love ..
What if the performance would be not of value, of snide and cynical gossip, of failed effort … what then …
Each creative output that waits for response from the audience it has been constructed for, has its moments of pleasure and destruction. We all hope that it is pleasurable, but are not always right. And that is the moment of reckoning. Are we going to accept the verdict and fight to rectify it, or are we lying back on past laurels without any care at all.
Most of what follows is delectably drenched in the pessimism of the nature .. but that is the way the cookie crumbles - to express the most used item of any year, and judge for yourself….
These expressions shall determine the strength of our association .. and that is the most valuable conversion one would have…. imagined !!
I imagine one must not push the sleep any further .. hence to shut eyes and soft headed pillows under the comfort and thoughts of the mind going wild with imagination … and before long it is morning again .. another day to worry and expectation …
Its never easy is it .. `/
My love -
Amitabh Bachchan
