WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH HOW SICK AND WRONG THIS VIDEO IS!
Issue #1: The children in this video are so young it seems really creepy that some unseen unnamed man behind the camera is telling them to touch each other. Let’s just establish that early on.
Issue #2: The girl in this video is presented as an object to be acted upon. She never speaks and we know nothing about her. The boys are asked their name, their age, what they want to be when they grow up, and why. We know nothing about the girl other than her name. When the creepy man voice asks the boys what they like about her, right away they go with physical traits because the girl hasn’t said anything and the boys don’t know her. So her value is established as an object and not a person.
Issue #3: Never once does the girl consent to being touched. Sure they may have asked her before the video if she wanted to participate, but if you ask me she is too young to consent to potentially being physically assaulted and/or kissed by not one, but MULTIPLE boys. There is not ONE ACT OF CONSENT in this video. When creepy man voice asks the boys to “caress” her they do not ask her permission. When creepy man voice asks them to kiss her they ask creepy man voice for permission NOT THE GIRL! They simply act upon her at the behest of the other. This is not okay. This is not acceptable behavior and this is not what we should be teaching our boys.
Issue #4: Notice how the boys had absolutely no problem touching her when they thought it was a nice touch? In the end creepy man voice tells them to kiss her. The boy then asks creepy man voice NOT THE GIRL if he can kiss her on the lips or the cheek. This gives the impression that as long as the boy thinks it is a “nice touch” that he can go ahead and do it. He doesn’t have to get consent and of course it isn’t wrong because it is “nice”.
Issue #5: When the boys are asked to slap her and they refuse it is because “you aren’t supposed to hit girls”, “I am a boy/man and we don’t hit girls”, “she is too pretty to be hit”. This young girl is completely robbed of her agency and personhood. You shouldn’t hit her because she is a person. As one of the little boys does point out “violence is wrong.”
The objectification of the young girl in this video is what perpetuates violence against women. This video is an act of violence against women. It turns my stomach to watch it. Violence against women (and any other non-dominant group) is an act of power. It is done out of a feeling of power and ownership. By taking this girls agency away from her and prompting boys to touch her and act upon her without her consent is an act of domination.
Girls are not objects for boys to protect. They are human beings for boys to respect. Ending violence against women is not about teaching boys “we don’t hit girls”. It is about fighting against the social construction of women as objects (a construction this video absolutely perpetuates). It is about teaching that violence is inherently wrong. It’s about teaching kids that gender, color, religion, class, etc. do not lessen someone’s personhood, that people have agency and power over themselves. It is about teaching kids consent and respect.
Fuck this video and the asshats that made it.
ETA: I do research on human subjects as part of my profession. This means I have to be certified in the ethics of human research and when my research involves humans or even simply information about specific humans I have to pass it by an ethics board. If this were a legitimate experiment it would never make it past an ethics board. Never. Experiments like this (say for instance the Milgram Experiment) have long been criticized for being unethical.