Thoughts on Competition and Envy
So given that it’s the time of year where premeds are deciding on which medical school to attend and the 4th year med students are either basking or wallowing in their match results, I felt like it would be appropriate to share my recent experience with and contemplation about competition and envy.
Yesterday I found out that one of my classmates and friends was accepted to my top choice school, one I had been rejected by about a month or two ago. My first reaction was to be excited for him, but about a millisecond later those classic premed feelings of inadequacy and the “what-ifs” and “why not me?” started creeping into my head.
It is so easy to get sucked into this vortex of envy and resentment when you’ve worked so hard for something and it just doesn’t work out for you but somehow does for another person. Ultimately the result is nothing but negative for both you and the person in question. It makes you bitter, sad, feeds those doubts and feelings of inadequacy etc. and can make you a rather miserable person to be around. So not wanting to wallow because I knew from experience where that would most likely lead, I tried using a technique from my positive psychology class. The whole idea behind it is to genuinely celebrate the achievements of others and to not diminish them through excuses etc. and to also be easier on yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to others, strive for your own personal best. Now for many of us that is still a tall order since quite a few premeds I know, including myself, are brutally hard on themselves and are their own toughest critics.
My classmate is a stand up guy and is 100% deserving of getting into this prestigious school. He is selfless and compassionate, and moreover brilliant (has a 4.0 and blew the MCAT out of the water). He tutors underclassmen in organic chemistry–and even when he’s off the clock as a tutor, he’s always willing to help them–and shares all his notes with our classes. He was in my histology study group last semester and would show up consistently to work with us, even though he already knew all the material and probably could have spent his time watching TV or sleeping instead of doing practice slides on HistoTime with us. I guarantee he helped us more than we helped him, yet he claimed he learned a lot from working with us, which just goes to show how humble he is. He somehow manages to always be kind and upbeat whenever I see him and he is exceedingly patient when teaching people. He is going to be a fantastic physician. I can truthfully say that he is a more qualified applicant than I, on any day of the week. I am genuinely happy for him and know he is going to use this opportunity to continue doing good for others.
Celebrating another person’s accomplishment and empathizing with their joy, really does feel a lot better than envying them. Remember to give yourself credit too for your accomplishments! Becoming a doctor is one of the most difficult, longest, and demanding career paths in the world. You are going to be entrusted with the lives of others. That’s a huge honor in and of itself.
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