I dated a guy a couple of years ago who called me an introvert. Actually, he said I was one of the most introverted people he’d ever met.

I quickly rejected his feedback. Really? Me? An introvert?How could that be? I have lots of friends, in my early twenties I was practically my group’s social chair and I was completely wild most of my young adult existence. But in retrospect it was mostly fueled by alcohol.

Somehow “introvert” hit me like an insult, even though he meant it more as an observation than a criticism.

In my estimation at the time introverts were losers. Men don’t date introverts. Women don’t want to be friends with introverts. I had this image of a solitary woman, alone in a room reading books with dozens of cats around her. BORING!

That image just shows the societal, knee jerk image of how a lot of people - albeit uninformed - stigmatize a group of people that seem to have traits outside of what is valued in the culture. As a person who wanted to be accepted, I would adopt any persona to help me on that quest.

So, today I saw a post on BuzzFed: 27 Problems Only Introverts Will Understand and it describes me on all points.

Holy shit. I AM introverted.

Thoughout this transformative process I’ve been undertaking, I’m losing a lot of who I’m not - and gaining insight and appreciation of who I truly am. The clearer I start seeing my innate gifts in life, the more it makes sense that I would organically lean towards the introverted side of the scale when I’m in my truest form.

The “party girl”, “unruly teenager”, “center of attention”, “loud mouth” identities that dominated the immature times of my youth, were really just heavy masks and coping mechanisms I felt I needed in order to fit in. I’m safe now. I’m loved now. I don’t need the burden of the pseudo-extrovert. It takes too much energy.

Now that I understand the true signs of an introvert-leaning individual, I’m proud of those aspects of myself. (PS - I’ve since researched more than this funny round up).

I love alone time. I love deeply connecting in small groups or one on one. I don’t like to make plans because I’m not sure how I’m going to feel when the time comes. I’m comfortable with and rather enjoy silence. I like brainstorming in groups and executing solo. I like having my own, private and personal space.

It doesn’t make me a loser. It makes me, me.

Part of my training also entails not grabbing into things - like titles for instance. I won’t grip this introvert too tightly, but it is interesting to explore what else is in there - beyond the roles we played without knowing it for so many years.

Here’s a great Ted Talk on the subject: