How To Write Female Characters
When I set out to write my YA horror novel, Forever Dark, I did the math and figured I’d make the main character female. Women buy more books, therefore they must want to read about women. But why would they want to read about ones written by a man? And me specifically?
The problem was, even though I’d been around women my whole life—had dated them, lived with them, been friends—I didn’t know much about them. Oh sure, I knew they were different than guys, but had no idea why.
If I was going to write an authentic teen female, it was time to find out.
Where to begin?
I’d always loved Mean Girls (underdog stories are my favorite), so I started my research by reading Queen Bees and Wannabes, the non-fiction book the movie was (loosely) based on. That was revealing, but only whet my appetite for more.
A female friend recommended Reviving Ophelia, and that was helpful too. Daring Greatly further added to my understanding of the complicated, spiraling “shame web” that surrounds women (men, on the other hand, get a prison-type box to hide our shame in).
Since I was writing a dark, edgy book, I also read memoirs and chick-lit like Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity and The Bitch Posse. I watched all the teen girl TV shows like Pretty Little Liars, The Lying Game, Twisted, etc., learning how the female characters acted and reacted to various situations, how they related to others, even to themselves.
Then there were the books on actually writing women by women: 45 Master Characters and The Virgin’s Promise, which compared and contrasted the feminine heroic journey vs. the masculine one: the differences in power and support, and how the genders start off in essentially different worlds. For example:
“Both men and women need to dissolve their ego to awaken. Women come into their power to realize their authentic goals and connectedness, whereas men let go of their power to realize their authentic goals and connectedness.”
“The awakening is like a form of surrender the character goes through, a rebirth into the unknown.”
—Victoria Lynn Schmidt, 45 Master Characters
This was amazing, fascinating stuff! I was beginning to feel confident I could create complex, believable female characters of any age.
I also learned about the Bechdel Test, which is a way to gauge a work of fiction’s gender bias by asking the following three questions:
- Does the story have at least two women in it,
- who talk to each other,
- about something besides a man.
(A fourth question is often added that asks if these characters are named.)
Final Thoughts
Reading these books not only made me a better writer, they made me a better man, and a better friend to the women in my life.
I’m profoundly grateful to the writers who made this research possible, and to all the women—especially my editor—who shared their amazing advice and stories while helping me whip my novel into shape.
Honestly, I’m not sure why a lot of the stuff I’ve learned isn’t taught in school. Demystifying gender differences and breaking down barriers (real and imagined) would go a long way toward creating a better world for all of us, and certainly, better relationships.
Further Reading On My Blog:
- Gender Differences In Storytelling
- How To Write Female Characters
- How To Write Male Characters: Part 1 (Male Psychology)
- How To Write Male Characters: Part 2 (Male Bonding)
- My First Viral Blog Post (Info about how well “How To Write Male Characters: Part 1” did, including special thanks to everyone who helped make my post go viral)
Essential Reading List for Male Authors Writing Female Characters:
- 19 Female Stereotypes or Tropes To Avoid by Cindy Grigg (blog)
- 45 Master Characters by Victoria Lynn Schmidt
- The Bitch Posse by Martha O'Connor
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW (particularly Chapters 3-4 on the “shame web”)
- Delusion of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine.
- Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen
- Fiction First Aid by Raymond Obstfeld (cross-gender writing, pp. 158-170)
- Gender Differences in Storytelling by Jackson Dean Chase (blog)
- How to Write Well-Rounded Female Characters by Cindy Grigg (blog)
- Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen
- Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman
- Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, Ph.D
- The Virgin’s Promise by Kim Hudson
- Why Bechdel Testing Your Novel Shows Business Savvy by Cindy Grigg (blog)
- Writing Characters Who Are Female, Not Females Who Are Characters by Cindy Grigg (blog)
Extra Credit for Crime/Dystopian Authors:
- In the Mix by Barbara Owen (exploring female criminality and prison society and how it greatly differs from that of males)
Sequel Article Coming Soon: How To Write Male Characters.
- Want more writing tips and info on my novels and short stories? Join my mailing list today!
Question: What has been your experience writing characters of the opposite sex? What books do you recommend for writers researching the subject?
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