I suspect that there is nothing like having a child to make one appreciate small victories. I also suspect that having a special needs kid makes those small victories all the more, well, special.
This afternoon at the beach I encountered two small victories.
First, in over two hours at the beach I never had to admonish Finn about putting sand in his mouth. This may not sound all that impressive, but it really meant something to me. I have spent many, many afternoons over the past three years trying to convince the little guy that Southern California sand is neither tasty nor nutritious, but he always had to learn this lesson on his own. Repeatedly. Today, however, he never really tested this theory, and was much happier pouring the sand down the back of my shirt than into his own mouth.
Second, Finn actually respected my wish that he not go into the water. It might sound pretty heartless to take a 4-year old to the beach but prohibit him from going in the ocean, but it is actually really considerate once you realize just how cold the water is here. It’s really freaking frigid. So cold that the surfers, who were all wearing full wetsuits, were shivering as they came out of the ocean (even though the air temperature was probably in the mid seventies). So frigid that sea gulls sometimes emerge from the Pacific with ice cycles clinging to their claws. Accordingly, making Finn avoid the water was a matter of compassion, not cruelty.
Amazingly, despite every urge in his little body, he respected my requests. To be honest, it was not particularly easy for him. He tried to use guile and subtlety to trick me, like slowly sliding towards the water (rather than walking), or walking in elaborate patterns that only meanderingly approached the ocean, but whenever I told him to stop he ceased his little games and found something else to do. I was really amazed, even though this is, admittedly, somewhat minor.
Finn spent the rest of the time at the beach trying to introduce himself to everyone in our general vicinity. Even though I know I have a terribly cute, and terribly social, child, those interactions always scare me. I hate explaining that Finn isn’t always like other children, so I end up intercepting him before I have to make that admission.
It probably makes me seem like an anti-social person, or just a bad dad, but I don’t know how to stop doing it. I don’t know how to let him interact with whomever he chooses and just deal with any explanations that need to be made. I guess I am a bit of a coward.
But I don’t see Finn stopping his methods, so I will need to grow a spine and follow him along for the ride. It’s just another lesson that Finn is determined to teach me.
(On a side note, special thanks to John for re-establishing my access to the blog. For some reason I could not get into the blog yesterday and it seemed to be tied to an email issue. Oddly, the word “bryancantrememberhisemail” is now plastered across the top of my screen. Must be a coincidence…)
