Say Something Funny...B*tch

Summer colds are just cruel and unusual punishments in the hot, scalding heat.  Nothing is worse than seeing an adult cough and wheeze while wearing Bermuda shorts.  This is the time for BBQs and Pina Coladas, not chicken noodle soup and excessive amounts of Nyquil. 

 Because I am sick and angry about it- here are the Top 5 worst things about being sick in July.

1. Missing the fireworks on our nation’s birthday because I was bundled up in a wool/cashmere blanket- shivering.

   

2. Coughing up a lung when I would rather be lounging in the sun.

   

3. Appearing only in sweats for 7 days straight, only to realize that there is dried snot on my left knee on Day 4.
4. Not changing out of those sweats after I realized that it is dried snot, because I don’t have the energy to move my arms.
5. Sweating then freezing, sweating then freezing- enduring the never-ending cycle as my body challenges itself to heal. 

   

However, I must admit that there are Top 5 best things about being sick (if you can call them that)- even if it is in the fiery pits of hot July.

1. I watched a whole ‘Harry Potter’ marathon followed by an ‘Indiana Jones’ marathon, followed by a ‘Real Housewives of New York’ marathon ( I got a little desperate towards the end- but I can blame it on being sick)

   

2. I had to lay on the couch for 3 days straight and nearly went crazy- but I finally had time to paint my toenails.

   

3. I realized my fiancé rocks even more than I ever imagined.  While I laid totally incapacitated- he painted the house, made me tea, did the laundry, washed the dishes, put air in the tires, cooked dinner, swept the floor AND listened to me whine- all in ONE day! 

   

4. I counted hot cocoa as a meal.

   

5.  I got to take time off- from life.

I am still a bit sick- but at least there is a marathon of ‘Run’s House’ to keep me warm.  Now can someone please pass me the tissues?