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toodutchforyou
i don’t get it omg
who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here
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it’s a hard life
I knew someone would gif this for me!
It was pretty much the only highlight for Avs fans at the game Saturday night. Funniest part for me was that the refs gave very few shits and made no moves to stop play. You fall face-first into the bench, well it’s your own damn fault, apparently.
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Supreme Leader Snoke: General Hux, please keep an eye on Kylo Ren today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
General Hux: Sure, I'd love to see Kylo get punched.
Supreme Leader Snoke: Try again.
General Hux: I... will stop Kylo from getting punched.
Supreme Leader Snoke: Correct.
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my youngest sister was trying to express that someone died with her limited child vocabulary and what she finally said was “his ghost fell out”
its been fucking me up all week
a baby named Infant
there are amost 8,000 people in the US named “Infant” and i feel so tired, so very exhausted
unclefather
How is baby a name for a baby
You trying to put that name in the corner? I have it on good authority that this simply is not done.
Definitely naming our twins “Infant” and “Baby.”
I realize that no one will read this but I have to respond even if it’s just by typing into the ether... people are aware that “Baby” and “Infant” likely refer to stillbirths? It’s the reason why they’re so equally distributed.
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My friend Tyler is trying to lose weight and he asked my other friend Orlando to train him. Tyler was embarrassed to go to the gym though so Orlando is taking care of that by dressing up as characters when they go to the gym so that the focus isn’t on Tyler but on himself. So far Tyler has been trained by a Jedi and steampunk Batman. This is one of the nicest things I have ever seen done for someone else. Orlando’s kindness blows me away.
quadhousefitness
this is boss
jayvsatlas
Incredible person right here.
There's a guy at my gym who wears a crown every day without fail. My trainer told me that he finally asked the guy one day what was up. The guy responded that he's actually really shy and doesn't want to talk to people. So instead, he wears a crown and people are like, "Don't talk to him! He's wearing a crown! I bet he's a crazy mother fucker!"
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Imagine your OTP getting really confused while trying to build IKEA furniture.
deathclw
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Just the Evangelion OP, everyone. Nothing else, honest.
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It's downhill from here.
Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress he’d knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it.
"You don’t have to wear it," he said, before I could say anything.
The dress was perfect. It was beautiful. It could turn into a skirt.
"You like it?" Channing Tatum said, smiling crookedly.
The dress had pockets.
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1. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would NEVER try to tell you about Slavoj Žižek.
2. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would think you were so smart. “Babe, you are so smart,” he would say, while welding at you.
3. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would get you the worst birthday gifts, but he would look at you with such love that you would never care. Then he would dance for you.
4. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, all your ex-boyfriends would be suuuuuch snide assholes about it, but they would also be filled with despair and self-loathing.
5. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, your parents would be surprised at first, but they would come around really quickly. “Yep, my daughter’s with Channing Tatum,” they’d say. “He treats her like a princess.”
6. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would never pay attention to insider scandals in new media, so you could choose to never talk about them.
7. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he could probably do that thing you’ve seen in movies where he lifts you up and holds you effortlessly against a wall during sex.
8. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would text you funny online videos constantly, with “LOLLLLLLLLLLLL” commentary.
9. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, your children would be as beautiful as the sun itself.
10. If Channing Tatum were your boyfriend, he would get you a puppy for Christmas. “Oh, Channing,” you would say. “You should never get people puppies for Christmas, it leads to pet abandonment.” “Aw, I thought you’d love it!” he would say. “I do, ya big goof,” you would say. You would name the puppy “Pony.”