everlasting flowers

Grim and Belphegor had an illegal meeting, so I'm allowing them to legally meet

he wants to play with Grim so bad, but is also respecting her hisses

okay he pushed his luck, encounter over

*about to call mutual by name* *checks their bio* *i remembered their name correctly* *starts writing the post* *deletes it and checks the url again* *stares at url telling myself i know their name* *checks their bio again and i was still right* *writes post* *drafts it so i can check one more time before posting*

living in 3024 over here

The Parental Advisory sticker exists because White Christian Women were horrified of their children listening to Prince, NWA, and more. An entire industry change! There was a fear of jazz (the devil's music) alongside marijuana, because white people thought it would make White children have sex with Black ones. White people were convinced that rap "caused violence" and were terrified of it being used against them, even though many of those rappers (NWA, Pac, Outkast, Nas, Mos Def, J Cole, Kendrick, etc.) were expressing their righteous anger at the very real racism in the system around them. I assure you, your perception of certain genres of music has everything to do with societal racism, even if you "aren't racist".

People who have never taken public transit before seem to be under the impression that everyone on a bus is ready to stab you meanwhile I have never had that problem and I get to read while I’m stuck in traffic and they don’t.

Also I don’t get stuck in traffic much anyways because the drivers keep going on the freeway even though it gets clogged up with traffic and it’s literally faster to drive on the surface streets where the busses go but whatever I don’t need to pay for a gym membership because I walk to the bus and meanwhile what are you spending your money on? Oil changes so you can keep getting stuck in traffic?

Am I spreading anti-car propaganda? Yes I am and yes I will forever because I don’t need to think about parking. I don’t have to pay for parking. I can just show up at a place and then leave without having to think about any of that. You wish you had it that good. I haven’t set foot in a parking garage in months.

This book is in Iosefka's clinic and its purpose seems to be to just hold the textures of all the other items in this room.

i love this character so much......i hope they get seriously injured and almost die

Another AO3 thing I’m curious about, how do yall decide if something is good enough to read? Usually I follow a rule of 1 kudos for every 10 hits. One because it’s easy math and two it’s yet to fail me. Thoughts? Do you just go for it and pray it’s good?

Not for nothing, but I blame Amazon for this.

I look at the bookmarks of authors I like, and if authors have tumblrs, I check to see if they tag and reblog fic recs. I also filter by ship and then by number of comments and read from most popular on down, bookmarking the stuff that I like and subscribing as I go. I leave comments and read others' comments-- if I really agree with someone in comments, I check out their AO3 to see if they write.

I also filter by tag within a ship for tropes or relationship to include or exclude them based on what I want to see (and not see).

Mostly you just have to read a lot and participate in the tumblr fandom and be patient as you learn who the writers and artists are and who they reblog and rec. Check the tag on tumblr for your character or ship and be willing to try new authors.

Big bang and other event collection tags on AO3 are also a good place to wade through fics.

I don't do discord but there are fandom discord channels where folks rec fics as well. Ask tumblr moots if they know of discords.

I also qualify what "good" means. Fanfiction is an amateur endeavor often created by newer writers, including ones whose first language isn't English. "Good" for me doesn't include the occasional spelling or grammar error-- if the premise is interesting, the characterization is good, and they're legitimately trying, I want to encourage them to keep writing and growing.

And finally-- if you find an author you like, comment on their fics. Don't just kudos them or bookmark them or worse, say nothing at all. Comments are what encourage authors to keep writing.

"I really liked this," is all you need to say, but I promise you that from an author POV it's discouraging when someone hoovers up your fics and leaves kudos but never takes a half minute to say "I enjoy your writing, thank you for sharing it." It feels shitty to be seen as just content and not as a person who did something time- and thought- consuming who's worth the consideration of an actual, textual "thanks."

All this takes time. Be patient and learn as you go, making friends and refining your taste as you go, and become that commenter an author loves to see in their comment section.

You start by broadcasting a net: anything and everything you think you'd like to read. You'll find a few things that you like, tags that work for you, themes and tropes and characters and pairings.

Start clicking on those; work out which fandoms attract you, or which writers.

Start checking out those authors, their bookmarks, their rec lists, their accounts, their backlog. If you like the way they've written one pairing, see if they have a theme of pairings and the tropes that go with them. Chances are if you like the way they wrote pairing A/B, you'll probably like the way they write pairing C/D.

Comment and kudos. Let the author know you like their stuff. Bookmark and subscribe. Rec on tumblr and anywhere else you care to be fannishly active.

Keep an eye on the authors you're following and check out their recs, what they get gifted, what they gift to others. Those sorts of things are often interlinked: someone likes pairing A/B and writes pairing A/B for someone else, who also likes pairing A/B and likes other things that maybe you like, too.

There is no FYP on AO3 - it's an archive, not social media.

TBH, it's a slow, winnowing, thoughtful process. But it's not dictated by some faceless, brainless algorithm, you have total control over it.

To sum up: Act like you're part of a community and not a passive content consumer, and you will be.

I honestly cannot believe how far T(W)ERF rhetoric has spread on this site. They used to be the ONLY ones I saw openly mocking the concept of identifying as queer, the ONLY ones I saw referring to people as ‘kweer’ in a mocking way.

You all are so 100% certain you know how to identify radfem and T(W)ERF rhetoric and can’t possibly fall victim to it but guess what.

They are nowhere near above pulling this shit. And you all are falling for it.

And if you think that screenshot is an isolated incident, think again!

There are countless radfem and T(W)ERF blogs that I’ve blocked that said ‘secret radfem sideblog’ in the description.

Like, it’s great that we’ve made being a T(W)ERF so unaccepted on this site that they can only be open about the most toxic of their views in secret side blogs rather than on their main, but it’s time to accept that they’re taking advantage of that in a really fucking insidious way.

Just a tip on how to recognize these blogs. If you follow someone and you start getting suggested t*rf blogs that’s a good sign the person has sideblog for that stuff. There was some cowboy blog I followed a while ago and I used to get follow suggestions saying “this blog is similar to cowboy whatever” and it was a ton of t*rf shit and low and behold they ended up outing themselves

This is why we learn about what actual TERF ideology is. Saying “trans women are women” and “TERFS not allowed” and putting “TERF destroyer” or whatever in your bio is not enough. Learn how TERFs actually work, and what they believe, and where it stems from, and how they express diluted versions in order to warm up non-TERFs to their ideas.

Do the fucking work. Unfollow/block people who express TERF ideas even if they don’t label themselves as TERFs, challenge those ideas in your community, and you won’t have to worry about secret TERF blogs anymore.

Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

The following are some red flags I’ve seen:

And also, just so we’re clear, if YOU, the person reading this, are looking at that list and thinking “what’s so bad about ___? That’s not terfy that’s just feminism!” then congratulations, you are dipping your foot in the well, and you have some shit to unlearn before you jump in whole hog.

Learn how to fucking recognize radfem and terf rhetoric even when it’s supposedly welcoming trans women, and do your part to oust them from the queer community.

Really important and I think I missed it on the list:

This doesn’t mean “ace lesbians are TERFs.” It means that if someone’s idea of lesbianism excludes kinky lesbians or the idea that a lesbian can be abusive in a relationship or… doesn’t encompass the idea that women can sometimes be fucking horndogs? It’s leaning on some very radfem ideas about women and their sexuality, ideas that infantilize women and flatten their lives down to “innocent cherubs.”

And it’s fucking weird.

I wish age gap discourse hadn't spiraled the way it has because I want there to be a safe space to say "Men in their 40s who date 25 year olds aren't predators, they're just fucking losers"

... honey you just described a predator LOL

No, I said what I said. But thank you for providing an example of how this topic has become insufferable on the internet.

i am honestly burningly curious about how a 40 year old man who fucks around with college grads is not a predator

"College grad" is not a developmental stage, nor is it what I would describe a 25 year old as. I was 4 years out of college at 25. My mother had two children at 25. You can be a fucking congressman at 25.

There's a difference between a man who is immature and buys into misogynistic views of beauty and aging and one who is a predator. Also, many actual predators? Not losers and able to move through society pretty freely being seen as cool and the ideal, so conflating the two isn't helpful.

This is going to be my final response to any attempt at discourse. You're welcome to continue amongst yourselves.

also sometimes a 40 year old and a 25 year old just weirdly find each and it's a perfectly normal relationship - like all human relationships are complex and situational, it's so rarely an either/or thing let alone just one thing only

if a 40 year old dude only dates 25 year olds, DiCaprio style or something adjacent to it, then yeah he's a loser

if a 40 year old dude meets a 25 year old through social event or friends or whatever and they happen to hit it off and make a go of it, and this isn't some sort of reoccurring pattern for the guy, that's just a relationship with an age difference

being predatory means something specific, and man I agree w/ OP and really wish people just stopped ascribing it to any and all relationship dynamics they personally might not like

predator and groomer - two words that need to go up on the "can't use till you learn their meaning" shelf

Something I find really stressful is this seemingly endless creep of infantilisation and removal of autonomy from young people. Like, not to be all “in my dayyyy” about it, but… at 16, my friends and I were expected to be broadly responsible for our presence in the world. Most of us had jobs, we navigated public transport, looked after younger siblings. We were expected to make informed decisions about our future careers and our sexual partners. We were allowed to leave education and work full time (this was not necessarily good thing - I think increasing the school leaving age to 18 was broadly for the best). Most of us were smoking, or drinking, or both - again, not good things, but just facts - and many of us were sexually active. Many of the AFAB people I knew were on the pill. Legally, we could live independently, or get married with adult consent.

Legally (I live in the UK) we were not minors, although we inhabited an odd legal limbo until we turned 18, and we were certainly not “children”. Intellectually, socially, though, we were considered (young) adults, or at the most “older teenagers.” We were expected to read mostly adult books (rather than middle grade or YA), watch the news/read papers, watch mostly adult television.

And I do think we a bit under-protected, under-supported, and in some cases - neglected and financially exploited - and I’m not necessarily advocating that. But it did make us feel, I think, in charge of our own lives, capable and competent to make decisions.

At 16-17 my parents knew they could leave me alone overnight/for a couple of nights, and I wouldn’t starve or burn the house down. I felt comfortable getting cross country trains on my own, or booking and staying at a hotel (yes, with my boyfriend.)

Then there was this… creeping of sentiments that we were all Too Young to trouble our heads about certain things. A lot of it was good - more stringent licensing laws, raising the school leaving age, raising the minimum smoking age(!) - but some of the broader cultural stuff was… a bit patronising? Eg, the introduction of “New Adult” as a category of books aimed at 18-25 year olds, the way cartoons and books written for the 9-12 age group were being marketed as for the 12-15 age group, referring to late teens as “children,” etc etc.

Then, in 2008, there was the big financial crash and suddenly my generation were (broadly) robbed of all the usual markers of adulthood and success, meaning that we got ‘stuck’ in the lifestyles and modes our late teens/early 20s. And suddenly, all the emphasis shifted from social and legal protections for late teens/ younger adults, to legal restrictions on their freedoms/rights, and strange philosophical protections on the emotional states.

So, OF COURSE a 23 year old can’t buy a beer without carrying an ID card, and a 17 year old can’t have a crush on a 16 year old, but also, because you’re *children* you don’t need to live like adults. So the UK government got to save money by saying “18 isn’t a proper adult,” then “20 isn’t a proper adult,” and “25 isn’t a proper adult” because it meant they could refuse to give single occupancy housing benefit rates to people of those ages (I think they’ve raised it over 30 now.) Or by refusing to clamp down on exploitative temporary/zero hours contracts - because they’re just “temp jobs for young people!”, or by raising the retirement age because “60 is far too young to retire. You’re not a real adult until 35.”

And it means the discursive environment is such that you can claim that a 21 year old trans person is too young to make their own medical decisions, or a 15 year old is too young to consent to the contraceptive pill.

Meanwhile, they are not offering additional *protections* to these newly infantilised adults. 18 year olds are still encouraged to saddle themselves with enormous educational debt, or allowed to have credit cards, or expected to pay rent, or no longer receive child benefits. You still have to *work*. In fact, in the States, they’re looking to removed child employment restrictions - but that’s fine, because 20 year olds are being protected from making their own medical decisions, and adults get to say which books their teen kids are reading in school, and kids aren’t allowed to change their name or what they wear without parental consent.

We can see what these people are doing to the rights of children - so why are we being so complacent in expanding the definition of ‘child’?

Regardless - 25 is VERY CLEARLY an adult. At 25 I was married, had two kids, an overdraft, rent to pay, and experience of living in the world for 6 years. I had more in common with someone of 40 than I did with someone of 15. Hell, at*20* I had more in common with someone of 40 than someone of 15. Any sexual or relationship decisions you make at 25 are your own to make.

Of course there are likely to be power imbalances in a 15 year age gap - which is why most 25 year olds don’t date 40somethings - but not actually necessarily. And yeah, a 40 year old who only dates 20somethings is a skeeze - just like a 30 year old who routinely ingratiates themselves with rich 80 year olds is a skeeze.

But if any young people are reading this (doubt it)… your rights are much, much more important than your protections.

Yes, young people should be protected, but if someone claims they’re protecting you while denying you access to personal autonomy, financial stability, intellectual curiosity, or sexual self-determination because you’re “too young” to need, or understand those things… be very suspicious of their motives.

And if you’re legally an adult, ask yourself why you don’t feel comfortable defining yourself in those terms.

This thread is from 2023, and now with the Cass report we have seen the real, tangible danger that comes from infantilizing adults in their 20s.

I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

anyone around me in any context: my main goal…

me to myself for the next ten seconds: don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

Sorry I was dreaming of a world where trannies don't have to be inspired creatives or kinky sex bombs or skilled programmers or funny shit posters or successful women in STEM or perfectly passing or (often unwilling) voices for their whole community or perfect saints to get some God damn love and respect from people who aren't also trannies.

I hope one day we can all just be some chick.

i honestly forget that autism mums say 'autism won today' to mean like their kid had a meltdown and that they are ableist. like nooo autism win means something like i found something cool out about my special interest or i managed to avoid a meltdown or i got to infodump!!!!! autism win is good!!!!!!

watching a tiktok and someone just described the black/blue gold/yellow dress meme as “one of the first things to ever go viral”

ok the irony and misinformation in the tags is making me insane. leprosy? caused by bacteria! and not actually that contagious! tuberculosis? bacterial! bubonic plague? also bacterial!! if you want an early viral infection smallpox is right there! polio! hell, even influenza! bacteria ≠ viruses!