Lightbulb

# she ended the journalist 

The face of a Done™️ woman

the woman is a sculpted 178cm goddess, she dont need them heels for nothing

somebody: i think theres definitely a pedophilia problem on ao3 we should address

people who think reading fanfiction is a substitute for a personality:

My god he just demolished that cat

IS THIS PIXIE AND BRUTUS.

Fate/Zero + Fate/Stay Night minimalistic posters

“Before and After”

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

every photo of a shoebill eating is progressively worse than the last

the one exception: this gentle boy who just wants to share a snack with you

I feel I should point out that the penultimate stork is being slandered. That duck was uneaten; the stork was just moving it out of the way, and promptly dropped it. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1225223/Dont-forget-duck-Giant-Shoebill-picks-feathered-friend-blocks-path.html

Look at the duck’s FACE

H A L P

No marriage required.

the entire time i spent watching this movie i was just waiting for charlotte to turn into a traitorous bitch, because that is what the media has told me for my entire life that her character archetype is supposed to do

kudos to disney for proving me wrong

Let me tell you how great Lottie is. 1. She has EVERYTHING. This girl can literally have anything she wants and instead of hanging out with girls of her social class she’s friends with a poor girl. 2. Not only is she below her social class but she is African American which back in the twenties was COMPLETELY frowned upon. Lottie is risking social status to be friends with Tia. 3. When Tia and Naveen end up together in the end, Lottie doesn’t throw a fit or act upset, she is genuinely happy that Tiana has found true love even though that’s all Lottie has ever wanted her whole life. Something that her daddy can’t buy for her. 4. She’s true to herself and doesn’t let others judge her just because of how much money she has and she has a wonderful friend like Tiana that loves her for that. Lottie is wonderful and is highly underrated.

If Tiana had let her, Charlotte would have bought the restaurant for Tiana and stocked it with the most expensive everything and had a grand ball for the opening. 

#Charlotte was a ride or die chick to the end#like she’s the defination of sugar and sweetness as a person#like Tiana could ask her for anything and Charlotte would do it no questions or conditions required

hewwo?

I’ll always love Odette’s dress

Barbie dishing out important lessons over the years

somewhere that’s ours, somewhere that dreams come true

why haven’t we memed the original barbie movies yet???

like

they

have

so

much

potential

like

ahhhhhhhh

tbh the most memeable one is princess and the pauper.

 never has there been a barbie movie so near and dear to my heart

barbie turns 60 this year, so i wanted to draw her closer to her ‘real’ age

a foxy grandma