bro please shut the fuck up im looking at the moon
I bestow upon you the title: Sandwich Slut
Now go forth and Kill
When jumba made 625
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
A realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees 3 fucking idiots standing on the train tracks.
me beating everybody i play against on video games by mashing buttons & only picking female characters with cute outfits & powers.
So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”
To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”
I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.
Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.
But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’
I love him oh my God what an ally
corcle time
Where’s that post about having mundane superpowers
I was not ready
I had to watch this a couple times
The chaos energy was to much to handle at once
I had the weirdest dream last night where it was about a next big meme trend, and it was basically another this vs that meme but it was “Lock screen vs Home screen” whereas the lock screen was depicted as something formal and relatively uninteresting like a businessman sitting at a desk while the home screen was always something chaotic and insane like gorillas fighting alligators and it. People would take sides online on which person they were more like, home screen or lock screen and it made absolutely no sense and I
It basically looked like this
mermaids with starfish covering their boobs is a great concept until you like.. remember what starfish are i mean ma’am theres an animal on your titties
This post is a religious experience
this post gave me whiplash three times
mcdonalds to their workers: remember we can replace you with robots and it would be just as efficient so do not to beg for more scraps.
mcdonalds three seconds later: ice cream machine broken, sorry.
the reason they’re always “broken” is mcdonalds ice cream machines take 4 hours to clean, mcdonalds has repeatedly said they would replace the machines with ones that are easier to clean, and yet they still haven’t years after the proclamation
basically what i’m saying is, how can they replace their employees with efficient machines when they can’t even replace their machines with efficient machines.
Those old ice cream machines are nasty af btw, corporate’s refusal to replace their old busted-ass machinery is a danger to the workers and consumers. The one at the McDonald’s I worked at had an internal leak so the inside was just full of old rotten milk that smelled like death, but even after my manager opened it up and cleaned it out upper management wouldn’t even think about replacing it cause they didn’t seem to see a problem. Because apparently exposing your workers and customers to rotten food isn’t a problem as long as no one sees it.
Anyway even if the ice cream machine is working probably don’t get the ice cream.
i would just like to thank every mcdonalds employee for their service because if i ever got the new roach mcflurry id kill someone
The machines aren’t broken, the employees are protecting us
McDonald’s employee servicing the ice cream machine 2018, colorized
Oh my god
depression: kill yourself
Me: kill me yourself you coward