@jezebelhades / jezebelhades.tumblr.com
when i was 10 or so i was deathly afraid of vampires so i stole the garlic powder from my mom’s spice cabinet and kept it in my coat pocket and if i was out at night with like my parents and thought someone was acting really sus i’d try to surreptitiously sprinkle a lil garlic powder on them
like imagine a weird little girl deciding you failed her vibe check and promptly seasoning you
I really hate those stupids posts that are like:
“What about REAL monster girls??? Not just weird humans?? like real huge MONSTERS?? With giant sharp claws and big sharp teeth?? Where are those???”
You’re thinking of bestiality. You want to fuck a T-Rex.
If it passes the Harkness Test, I’m down.
For the uninformed:
This isn’t an item or even a game mechanic but I think y’all know you need the Harkness Test at some point or another in most campaigns
here’s my issue with the harkness test
The takeaway here is that Scoobert Doo is a fuckable monster
look, the harkness test isn’t whether a monster is ATTRACTIVE, it’s whether fucking the monster is UNETHICAL. “do I find scooby doo hot?” is a separate question from “IF I find scooby doo hot, would fucking him constitute bestiality?”
Remember just scrolling down your dash and seeing random nudes? Those were the days
While out on my adventures the other day, I stopped at the farmers market to get some of their exceptional peach cider and a group of four college age girls all got out of an SUV, dressed somewhat identically (white face mask, gray or white top, dark bottoms, uggs) and headed up to the barn.
One of them shouted 'PUMPKIN' and pointed to one of the 90lb pumpkins they had out front and all of them ran to see it up close, taking turns with their phones to get a selfie each.
They were absolutely overjoyed to see pumpkins, turning every squash they could find over and over and taking pictures of it. They must have taken a hundred photos total.
It is entirely possible that this was their first time visiting a farm.
So I got my gallon of cider, some honey, and some fudge and those girls were in the line, each with a pumpkin held about belly height like they were six months pregnant with it.
Well... sort of.
Three of them were in line like that and the fourth of them ran up with a package of fudge. "Ladies look! Pumpkin Spice Fudge!"
"Oh my god where??"
So two of them went back to the fudge and got more fudge, got back in line.
Then another one went missing and came back with a bag. "Oh my god! Pumpkin Spice Popcorn???"
"I didnt think you could DO that!!"
"Where???
"Girls, we need a cart!"
This happened ad hominem until I think they had every single pumpkin spice item in the barn: soap, candles, taffy, cakes, breads, mixes... it filled a cart and was easily $300 worth of pumpkin spice stuff plus their pumpkins and they were so excited to have it all. It was treasure. It was a bounty. They had hunted well and their stores would be stocked for the winter.
And on the one hand I'm rolling my eyes because pumpkin spice is just... cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove. But on the other hand.. they were so excited.
Like they were so excited to see pumpkins in a place that grows pumpkins and not at a grocery store and I suppose the takeaway is:
May you find unequaled joy in something as simple as a pumpkin in a place where pumpkins grow.
Harmless Joy should be celebrated, no matter what form it takes.
Art by Boris Groh
what i like about this is that the people seem just. unthreatened. they are responding to these nightgaunt looking motherfuckers as if they were a particularly rambunctious opossum. “oh god damn the shadow entity stole our ball again what the fuck dude we’re trying to play horse.” perfect, i love it.
If you’re cold, they’re cold! BRING👏THEM👏INSIDE👏
Holy shit the body language in that last one is KILLING ME.
Please, do yourselves a favour and click the link. The above pictures are just a selection from an excellent collection, and the artist sells prints of them.
Super big fan of these nightmarish beings having the personality of cows and/or outside cats
ive seen some posts lately about drawing diversity with actually diverse features, aka instead of just having a black character, drawing the character with nigerian features or instead of just drawing a vaguely indigenous character draw them with features from a specific tribe/area and in any case i figured you might want to check out this site because its a world map where you can click anywhere and it’ll show you different human phenotypes based on region and really goes into showing many types of people. like im making a chilean character so clicked on chile and it showed me this
which pops up this and this
its just a pretty neat website to really become better at diversifying and strengthening your character designs
Handy for writers too!
January:
February:
march:
April:
wait what’s happening with April?
@what-a-silver-lining This is what’s happening with April
Holy cow! This year is really trying to outdo itself every month.
its like an advent calendar but instead of candy its apocalypse
I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
polar opposite of this post
inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this
This is really beautiful!!!
REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S
my weapon of choice during school yard fights
DnD campaign but the only weapons are 90′s toys @riskpig
Distance weapon: those sky dancer propeller toys.
I’ll allow it.
I have but two words:
Are those a weapon or piece of armor?
Party walks into the inn to rest and the pub looks like
Perfection.
I ride into battle on one of these
Animal Companions
Fresh combat
Monks have to use these
Wizard’s Spell book
Warlock Patrons
Archfey
Fiend
Celestial
Great Old One
The undying
It got better since I last saw it
This is so weird bc being born in 1997 I saw all these toys… old, dirty, and faded by the sun
it’s so weird to think of them as new and current toys rather than the relics of a bygone age
Currency
Dungeon:
the party embarks upon a laser quest
THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT EXHIBIT B
these companies that test patience don’t end up paying people what they are worth
🗣️🗣️ THIS IS NOT A FEEL GOOD STORY
12 year old children should not have to work to afford education
every one of the cullens receives one of these the first time they royally fuck up
+Bonus
