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Flying thoughts

@squirrel-wolf / squirrel-wolf.tumblr.com

Whatever I think is interesting and should be shared around.
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reblogged

"In the Court of the Nameless Queen" now available in ebook and paperback (wow very cool)

Hello everyone it is I, award-winning speculative fiction author Natalie H. Ironside, author of The Last Girl Scout and Lead and Roses: Love Songs at the End of the World and as heard on the Tales to Terrify podcast, and I've gone and done did it again. If you like dark fantasy and queer erotica featuring big hot monster women and sword-swinging girls (both cis and normal) who love girls, golly have I got something for you!

Take a trip across the sundered worlds to the Queendom of Corynnod, a dark realm of sorcery and desire, ruled over by she who is Queen, goddess, and mother to us all, in four fantastical and titillating tales of wonder, adventure, love, sex, and—of course—spiders.

Herein you'll find the following four exciting and XXX too-rowdy-for-tv tales:

BROOD: A true and credible account of how Freydis Thorkilsdottir, war witch, became Freydis Gothi and the Mother of Abominations. Freydis Thorkilsdottir, soldier and war witch in the army of the Nameless Queen, has always struggled to find a place for herself as a transgender woman. She volunteers to lead men over the walls in a castle assault, in hopes that, should she survive, she might earn the attentions—and the favors—of her great and terrible araneidan Queen . . .

Chanting prayers to their Queen, they drew a circle of blood around the altar and lit candles, bathing the nighted cathedral in flickering light. As they worked, the Nameless Queen nibbled Freydis’ ear and whispered, “You know what’s about to happen, right?”
“I’ve… heard stories, my Queen.”
“The stories are mostly true.”
Freydis at once gulped in terror and moaned in delirious anticipation.

THE APOSTATE: An account of how Freydis Gothi made the acquaintance of her most beloved and treasured servant. Fleeing oppression and unspeakable abuse, Kristina Kaminski—a woman who loves women in a land where such things are not allowed—travels into the grim and mysterious north and meets a most peculiar woman upon the shores of the sea. As she settles into her new life, it comes to pass that a dark conversion often necessitates a dark baptism . . .

The two women kissed as, overhead, the sounds of revelry upon the knarr’s deck grew louder, more intense. Freydis nibbled Kristina’s lip as she broke off the kiss and said, “I must say that the thought of corrupting a Khethian nun is rather delightful.”
“I put myself here of my own knowing volition, Freydis. I’ve come pre-corrupted.”

TRANSMUTATION: An account of the coming of Steff Pelczynski, diabolist, to Caer Eldur and the court of the Marchioness. Steff is no man, but don’t try telling her that. When the young wizard travels into the north, seeking a change, she—with the help of a rather commanding older woman—finds a change she didn't know she was looking for . . .

“Be whoever I’d like. You know, on that same night, I met the most fascinating woman; a woman who’d been born a man. I’ve not been able to stop thinking about her since.”
The astrologer smirked. “Have you given any thought to why you can’t stop thinking about her?”
“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re a terrible liar, wizard.”

THE CARNIVAL OF CARNAL DELIGHTS: An account of how Freydis Gothi acquired her legendary sword. Freydis Thorkilsdottir, Kristina the Apostate, and their friends take an excursion to a festival of wondrous terrors and delights where nothing is as it seems . . . and things already seemed pretty suggestive to begin with!

They came at last to the Queen’s bedchamber, a wide, circular room of black stone with spiderwebs spun along the walls. Freydis, as she had so many times before, strode through the darkness to the pile of silken purple cushions by the far wall and stood there with her hands clasped behind her back, awaiting orders.
“I would like to know more about what your body is doing,” the Queen said. “Disrobe.”
“As you command, my Queen."

(Tagged as: High fantasy erotica, monster fucking erotica, trans erotica, wlw erotica, LGBTQ erotica, Liege x Retainer, Hurt x Comfort, Dominance Hierarchy, Sex Magic, Servant of Darkness to Lovers Speedrun, found family, praise kink, body transformation)

***

"But Natalie," you say, "how can I get my hands on the greatest book of swashbuckling transbian monsterfucker erotica ever written?" Well, I'll tell you. It is:

Available on Amazon (in ebook and paperback! Wow!)

(big big thanks to @thebibliosphere for the header image and tag assistance, @kodyboye for the formatting, @chillgamesh-the-swing for the editing, @neladoesart for my author photo, and of course the wonderful and eternal @soul-hammer for the cover art)

(click the readmore for a list of "too hot for Tumblr" tags to know what to watch out for and/or spot your fetish)

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justcatposts

Stray cat breaks into Lynx’s enclosure at zoo

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cathartidae

while the stray cat story may have circulated in 2020 and 2022, this story is actually from the Leningrad Zoo in 2014. (here's the original russian article as well.)

these two felines were introduced at 6 weeks old in order to give more enrichment for the lynx and for education purposes, however they got along fantastically from the start and were eventually moved to permanently live with one another.

a much less exciting story, but a much cuter one as well.

Source: justcatposts
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apelcini

since the cowboy and the samurai were both dying out in the 1800s i want an action adventure historically wildly inaccurate comic about the last cowboy and the last samurai teaming up BUT one of them is gay and the other doesn’t understand what being gay is and there are multiple comedic mishaps resulting from this

after lots of frantic googling of “were samurais gay” “were cowboys gay” “how did gay samurais work” “did gay cowboys love each other” ad nauseam i have decided that it’s actually funnier if both the cowboy AND the samurai are gay but not for each other and also they both have their very culturally specific understandings of gay social politics so both of them still are equally like “dude why are you like this” to each other

samurai, trying to comfort the cowboy who just got dumped over pony express: when my lover left me for another man, i killed both him and his new lover, and proved to all in shudo that it is what happens when you leave me for another, and i felt much lighter. would doing that also help you?

cowboy, absolutely reeking of the flask, who stopped howling purely out of confusion to try and figure out if the samurai was being serious: dude what the fuck is wrong with you

the depictions of homosexual identity at the time are painstakingly accurate and very clearly heavily researched, and this is purposefully in direct contrast to how absolutely absurd and crazy the entire rest of the premise of the comic is

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dabwax

In the end, if children bother you for sensory reasons and that's why you don't want them to be in the same public spaces as you, there are disabled adults who can and would cause the same sensory issues for you. Adults who are loud, who vocally stim, who have poor boundaries, poor hygiene, who cry in public, etc etc etc. And they're already socially ostracized for all of this.

So actually yeah, it's the bare minimum you can do for the group with the least human rights on the planet to figure out how to accept children as part of your public community without hating them for it, even if you are child-free yourself.

Haha, no, shut up your crotch goblins or get off the plane.

I am child free. I do not have children. Grow the fuck up, get the fuck over yourself. The world is bigger than you. You are not the main character. I'd rather deal with a million kids than one grown asshole who acts like this on purpose.

Hey! You’re actually infantilizing disabled adults for saying this! Children are different from adults who are disabled. Just because someone doesn’t like children doesn’t mean they can’t understand that an adult is disabled!

I'm literally a disabled adult who is inappropriately loud, who can vocally stim, who has struggled with poor boundaries, who has been too depressed and suicidal for shower for long enough to have had poor hygiene, I've cried in public TODAY, etc etc etc

I'm autistic with moderate support needs, OCD, and PTSD. I was fucking referring to myself. Get the fuck off my fucking post with this shit. I shouldn't have to sit here and elaborate this, either.

Disabled people have been barred from public using ugly laws and nowadays people use things we have in common with the things they hate about children to deny us equal access to jobs, friends, everything.

Maybe you need to start seeing the way children are dehumanized similarly to the way disabled people are and you'd not see this as a problem. But being compared to a child is terrible. Why?

Editing to take this out of the tags and say - before anyone says there are disabled kids - no shit, I was one, and my childhood was entirely being abused by adults for being disabled and a child. Children are an oppressed class.

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Happy Star Wars Day, Nomads! We’ve missed you and look forward to seeing you this summer, planning for a return in June. In the meantime, celebrate with our squad in your favorite Star Wars fashion, and don’t forget to check out some new sketches and one-offs on DeviantArt, Ko-fi and Tumblr. See you soon and May the 4th be with You!

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Never forget: Moose are legit Ice Age megafauna that never died out.

He just….just….pet the wild moose…the bravery, the hutzpah

The forbidden snoot!

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vaspider

If I could pet a moose

I would be very happy

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freekbugg

Normally I would say you shouldn’t pet a wild animal, but the moose is already right there. If you’re that close to a moose’s snout you might as well pet it. If the moose wants to kill you, you’re going to die, so you might as well.

A giant moose, OP says when that is just a normal size moose

Quick make a noise like a killer whale to scare it off

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kinukos

I’ve been on tumblr for almost 13 years and I refuse to know what homestuck is about

The thing that amazes me is that I've been on tumblr for ages and dashboard osmosis has conveyed absolutely nothing to me about Homestuck whatsoever.

There are whole episodes of Supernatural that I've seen in their entirety through gifsets. I don't even know what sort of a thing Homestuck is or where I would find it. I know less about what happens in Homestuck, which presumably actually exists, than what happens in Goncharov, which doesn't.

I spend hours every day on tumblr. I don't know how this is possible.

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jettkuso

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

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