To live, would be an awfully big adventure.

girl help they’re playing music that was popular when i was in high school and making me feel nostalgic for an era of my life i have zero desire to return to

Transcription:

Tiktok 1: What’s a mistake you learned the hard way that you can now help people to avoid?

Tiktok 2: (slowly increasing in desperation) If your coworkers watch podcasts, don’t try to have conversations with them during lunch rush, right? Today we had a crazy lunch rush. I’m over here making fuckin chicken, I’m smacking bean bags, I’m trying to get rice going, I-I’m in the zone, right?

I see one of my coworkers, they’re just staring off into the distance. Right, I come up, I’m like “Hey? Are you good cause it’s game time, we gotta make the burritos,” right? And he was like, “You know humans have two lives?”

I was like, “What?” fuckin- I stopped what I was doing I’m like “What are you talking about.” He’s like, “We don’t start our second life until we realize we only have one life to live.” And I’m like, “It’s fuckin. Saturday. I want to go home. I bought uncrustables. Can we- can we go?”

He was like, “Yeah. Also, how did we start a first language if we didn’t have a language to start with in the first place?” And I’m like, “Who are you,” right? And he’s like “Do you like podcasts?”

We didn’t get out of work on time.

Listen to this with the sound on, he sounds so BROKEN

Now YouTube has a habit of recommending me the weirdest stuff recently, but today i got this on my recommendations

And about halfway through listening to this, I went and read the comments, literally I could not stop reading I was there for hours, here are some of my favorites

First off, Oliviaalee’s channel is a godsend for writing. My favorites right now are:

Give them a try here

Also…honorable mention

@perditious

My personal favorite

@inky-duchess , of possible relevance to your interests.

Shoutout to the all queer family heroes

wow this actually makes me feel really happy cause that person is me…

It me

I have to tell this story.

I thought I was the first person to come out on either side of my family, but like three years after I came out, my mom was like, “By the way, my Aunt Mildred was a lesbian.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. My mom just told me this story the other day about her. She also had really bad depression, so bad that she was hospitalized. Her father flew out to San Diego to see her there. The nurses caught him on the way in and told him the no matter what she said, he was not allowed to get upset.” (This is the Catholic side of the family. Like, serious Irish Catholic with eleven kids and multiple priests in the family. Also super-duper Southern. And this was the 1940s and it was illegal.) “And he got real scared, but he went in. And she said, ‘Daddy, I’m a lesbian.’ He threw his hands in the air and hollered, ‘OH THANK GOD! I was worried it was gonna be something bad.’”

So. Shoutout to my Great Aunt Mildred, because she got there before I did.

Further shoutout to my second cousin Jared, who thought he was the first in even the extended family until he turned up for Granny’s 90th birthday, saw me for the first time in probably fifteen years, and heard me utter the words, “My wife…”

General shoutout to anybody who even thought they were the first in their family when they came out, even if they found out differently later on.

Y'know what, I love this story so fucking much that I’m going to schedule it to reblog when people will see it.

shoutout to those nurses who were ready to throw the fuck down for their young depressed lesbian patient like… when we talk about allies that is actually the kind of ally that has helped us to survive. in the most literal sense.

Absolutely shoutout to Aunt Mildred’s Nurses. That was some Good Allyship.

It’s INSANE to me how controversial romance novels are. Romance novels. Like, being openly a fan of them immediately opens you up to people constantly coming at you like “but don’t you think it’s ~limiting- and ~juvenile~ to have a genre of books with happy endings for women?”

Like.

No?

Why is it such a big deal to want to read stories where women have sex and then don’t die at the end? Jesus Christ.

Why is the concept of female characters being happy seen as less creative than female characters suffering? (Trust me, creating a world where women win in the end takes a lot more creativity and artistic vision lmfao)

Anyway, literary bros will pry my romance novels with their happy endings from my cold dead fingers.

Or die in the very beginning of the book. But no one calls out James Patterson for writing another formulaic thriller in which a woman is horrifically killed after getting laid and then some man solves her murder. Every. Damn. Time.

But hey, those romance novels where women get happy endings are so limiting, eh?

Real talk: realizing how common it is for female characters to be punished for on-the-page sex with death was a big part of my embracing the romance genre. Once I noticed it I couldn’t unnotice it. It’s everywhere. A woman having sex in literature or non-romance genre fiction is the literary equivalent of a red shirt on Star Trek.

It’s not just the sex thing, though that’s a key element. It’s that, in romance novels, the heroine gets to be cared for the way she normally would care for everyone else. It’s wish fulfillment in that her romantic partner will do emotional labor, spend a great deal of time thinking about her, or sacrifice his desires or fortune or reputation to be with her, or spend days nursing her back to health, or risking his life to save hers. In romance novels, you’ll find men taking care of children, talking about their feelings, putting effort into their appearance—even if they are adorably bad at it. Watch how many romance novel protagonists fall in love with a man who happens to be rich or handsome, but she didn’t give in until his behavior changed and he starts mentoring her, or providing for her, or being gentle toward her, nourishing her, listening to her, appreciating her… I suspect romance novels are looked down upon not for being juvenile formulaic “beach reads” but because they paint a fantasy world that leaves men feeling uncomfortable or even emasculated. But whether you’re a Midwest housewife or a big city CEO, women who read romance novels just want to read about men loving women the way women are expected love everyone else—with a nurturing and protective form of unswerving loyalty. Great sex they don’t have to die for is also a huge bonus, but the *romance* part of the novel is genuinely more about the woman being appreciated (for her beauty or spunk or intelligence at first, and then for all of her by the end).

“women who read romance novels just want to read about men loving women the way women are expected to love everyone else—with a nurturing and protective form of unswerving loyalty.”

THANK YOU.

According to the website smartbitchestrashybooks, which analyzes romance novels to a great degree, one common element of the average romance novel is what they call the grovel.  That is, there’s a turning point near the climax of the book where the leading man says, in effect, “I hurt you.  I had my reasons, but they don’t make it right.  I am devastated that I hurt you, and I will do whatever it takes to make it okay again.  Leaving you is completely on the table even though I find the prospect horrific.”

And that’s a very important fantasy.  To have your feelings, your pain, be made so absolutely central to the narrative, to someone else’s world.  You could call it a power fantasy, but I don’t think that’s exactly right.  It’s a significance fantasy.  A romance story is a story in which the woman is the most significant damn thing in the book.

And when you think of it like that, you realize why some people are really, really threatened by it.

White on white violence

This is art

NICE

If I caption this “I can haz cheezburger?” do you think the fabric of time and space will rip and we’ll be flung violently back into our own past?

I personally wanna see less 'you are not a burden/it's not work to love you' and more 'you are worth the work it takes to love you.' I KNOW I'm a burden sometimes. that isn't such a terrible thing! humans are strong. we can carry burdens. and it is work for me to be there for my friends, but it's work I'm willing to do.

we need to acknowledge this because pretending love isn't work will never make people like me feel less guilty for accepting love. we need to talk about it so people don't feel bad for having boundaries and not always being up to do the work. we need to accept it so we can properly appreciate what others do for us and what we're doing for them.

yes it does take work to love you. but guess what? you still deserve love, and you deserve people who are willing to do the work to love you. it doesn't make you bad. all love take work. and everyone is worth it.

listen nothing in sound design will ever come close to the sheer power of the sound of a lightsaber turning on

I truly 1000% believe that Star Wars would never have gotten as popular as it has without everything about the lightsaber being absolutely perfect.

And I also believe the lightsaber is the perfect weapon in any form of media ever.

It draws upon a traditional and iconic weapon: a sword. Swords have gravitas, an ethos, that I don’t think anything else has. People love swords. They’re dramatic, they allow posing, tense back and forth battles, tests of skill and chances to flourish and show off.

But it’s better than a sword, because it sounds fucking awesome. You know what’s even better for your sword fight? If they make a cool ass noise when they hit eachother. Like everything about a lightsaber sounds amazing. It turning on, when they clash, when they deflect something, hell even when they just sit there and HUM it sounds cool.

There’s also the different colors, and this is important because it allows there to be differentiation. Vader has red, Obi-Wan has blue, Luke gets green. They’re instantly recognizable and you can understand what side someone is on based on the color of their weapon. It also allows there to be a certain amount of personalization and customization, which is VERY IMPORTANT because you know what really gets people into your story? When they start imagining themselves in it. When people start thinking about themselves in Star Wars I guarantee one of the first three questions that will come up (if not the first) is what color lightsaber would you have.

Finally, this is a small thing but, lightsabers are just easy to carry around. You just turn the damn thing off the and blade goes away. It’s a very manageable prop to carry around, and then you get sweet noises and posing when it turns on.

Laser sword goes swoosh buzz hmmmmm and it’s rad

You. Cannot. Tell.

Important PSA here

fuck all philosophy except for whatever the hell Diogenes was trying to teach

direct action

How about just being polite & going into a debate with those who hold diffrent beliefs then you?

how about you eat my shit and hair

staying true to spirit

the OG of the vicious burn

Diógenes said you couldn’t spit anywhere but in the face of a rich man because once this rich dude invited him into his house and literally told him you can’t spit on anything that touches the floor so Diógenes spit in this guys face

here is a very good painting of Diógenes in his tub that i had the good fortune of actually seeing earlier this year

I love that Diogenes is making a comeback in the twenty-first century.

Diogenes also attended many of Plato’s lessons, not because he was interested or even to debate him but he would bring food with him and purposefully eat obnoxiously loud

I just watched The Room (2003) for the first time with some friends and I. I cannot. this broke me

the pizza? the one that Lisa orders? the half-hawaiian, half pesto-and-artichoke?

that’s my favorite pizza

that’s the pizza I order every. single. time.

what does this mean?

like, have all of the pizza places I’ve ordered from for the past decade thought I was referencing The Room? have I been getting silent judgement from the local Dominos without my knowledge?? is this why that guy at Mod Pizza laughed at me that one time??

how did I, a person who had never seen The Room, choose this as my favorite pizza? is this fate? happenstance? 

what does this say about me?

I’m having like. an existential breakdown over this

is this….tearing you apart?

goddammit

Denver Zoo and its gay lorikeets said fuck homophobes happy Pride

Homophobes: u mean they act like brothers

Denver Zoo: they’re fucking, lorie.

Yes I reanimated your corpse to ask- Freud please shut up I just need to- yes we went to space thats not important. Do you know what a MILF is

stop everything, this is bitty doing research for his thesis

there's more lmao, unhinged bitty energy

SOMEONE PUT IT INTO WORDS