Veiovis Sum

im still losing it over the "how did high schoolers write 600 word essays before chatgpt" post. 600 words. that is nothing. that is so few words what do you mean you can't write 600 words. 600 words. this post right here is 45 words.

i fucking hate google docs man. junge was laberst du?

writing? oh, i’m definitely writing. in my head. during the most inconvenient times. like in the shower or when i’m about to fall asleep. actual typing? no, no, we don’t do that here.

sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

*whispers* behold. a goddess w/ deadly accuracy.

I cannot stop re-watching this

#i like how every dropout performer is forced to live like a cartoon character

I love scam calls that are easily verifiably false. “Your mortgage is about to default.” Cool 👍 I don’t have one of those

My "favorite" calls are when they call to harass my grandma, who's been dead for sixteen years.

so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

tumblr: on languages

The thai for “5″ is pronounced roughly “Ha”, and so where english internets would generally put “lol” or something, they put “555555555″.

I was looking for this post for so long

Finally it has returned

last night my partner held a somber little passover seder to show me what it’s about and when they got to the part where they were supposed to open the door for elijah they paused, frowned, and said “oh. huh. there is a clown.” and I looked out. and sure enough. there was a clown.

I’ve been listening to the people in the apartment below me have arguments for two years now and I still can’t figure out what language they’re speaking. The best I can narrow it down is like if Portuguese and Hebrew had a baby. Is that a common pidgin combination

I just listened to a clip of this and jesus christ you fucking got it. there are like 3500 people in the whole united states who speak this and two of them are in a very fraught marriage four feet below me

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

She makes a mean whisker sour

Does she have anything non alcoholic?

Just putting all these pics together in one post

And, because this series wasn't cheesy enough:

Okay, but would y'all hire rats? Or do they not get along with mice?

Jim Rat's specialty is ratwurst

I posted this by itself already but might as well share it here.

A special romantic Hanukkah pic starring Hera and Muriel of the Squeakeasy crew (yeah I haven't mentioned it before but I've named the mouse lady Muriel). After a hectic holiday season, this lovely lesbian couple deserve some passionate private time.

I'm not Jewish myself, but if any of my followers are, Chag sameach!

And a special thank-you to @anarcho-skamunist for the post that started it all. Drawing up all these comics and seeing everyone's kind words and funny responses really kept my spirits up throughout this year. So much fun and so many puns!

“Hey Elaine I need you to give me a few of Sam’s prized possessions and the deed to your house. Also can we set up a camera in your kitchen?” - Vic Michaelis at some point last year

stop telling robots they 'pass' as a compliment, passing the turing test is not required from robots for them to be valid, also stop assuming robots even want to pass, it's not the only thing that being a robot is about and is based on anthropocentric standards that you really should be dismantling in the first place

one day you're going to decompose and i'll be there to watch it happen